October 08, 2003
the things i do
I throw a lot of my private life up on this blog. I get a lot of criticism for doing that, but I don't really care. There is no doubt in my mind that if I didn't have this blog to vent my emotions, I would have been dead a long time ago. I write what I feel like writing and I put up with the trolls, the hate-mail and the hurt feelings I cause. Wanna know MY attitude about it?
Fuck 'em all.
I don't call this site "Gut Rumbles" for nothing and I don't blog as "Acidman" by accident. I stay pissed off a lot. When I am pissed, I write about what has me pissed off. I don't worry about repercussions, because I should not be alive today. I had a fucking doctor tell me that. Everything that happens to me from here on out is either gravy on my grits or another load of bullshit dumped in my lap. Either way, I can handle it. I am free.
Peering first-hand into the abyss and being hauled back from the edge will make you difficult to embarass in the future. I am far beyond worrying about what people think of me. I go to work, do my job and still like to see a blue sky over my head. That way, I can check the exhaust stacks for dust, and schedule a baghouse changeout if I see a contrail from one of the stacks.
Goddam. That's what a blue sky means to me today. It's a good day to read the stacks.
If my daughter is pissed at me, that's okay. She spent most of her life being pissed at me anyway. If my MAMA is pissed at me, that's okay, too. Hell, it won't be the first time I've caused that.
Understand one simple fact if you read my site. I am incorrigable and guilt-free. Get used to it.
Oh man...the blog-meet is going to be heavy.
More power to you Pappy - it takes some serious balls to air your laundry on the 'Net, and, after all, your writing is pretty much fueled by venting.
And your writing rocks.
I read both of your blogs, and I've respected both you and Sam for the time I've read your blogs, and I will continue to respect both of you, regardless of what happened in the past. The past is done and over, and you can't change it no matter how much you'd like to. So I try not to let that affect my judgement of people.
That was very well said, and if no one gets that by now after all this time you've had your blog, then they're just stupid.
Look. It's really pretty simple.
We are all human, therefore we all make mistakes, are sinners, have done things we regret, etc., etc., etc.
At the end of the day, one would hope, one could depend on one's family. Does it always work out that way? Hardly... But thankfully I can.
One would also hope, that there was unconditional love, available in this world. I will tell you, if you have not realized it yet, it does not exist.
What is pure-love anyway? You may say you love your parents, you love your spouse, heck maybe you even think you love yourself, but what is love? Can you define it? Can you quantify it? Can you put it in a jar and can it?
I'll tell you what pure-love is. You may not be able to handle it, but here it is in its unadulturated glory:
Love is putting someone else's needs over your own needs.
It's that simple. And the only guy in history that I know of, who did that is Jesus.
Now I'm not a particularly religious guy, but I do know what love is, and what it is not. The only unconditional love you will ever get in your life is from your parents when you are a child, and from God when you are an adult.
So. Time to get over it folks. Time to move on. Time to grow-up. And it's definitely time to change the subject.
Acidman, Jenny, Sam, et. al., you will be in my prayers, and my thoughts.
I think you get the most brutal honesty from those that feel as if they have nothing to lose.
I asked you a question in your comment section and your daughter answered for you. It annoyed me. I'm pondering why.
I would be worried about you if you stopped being yourself. I think you have lots of company in using a blog for venting. I know I do. Someday doctors may perscribe blogging to people with stress problems. Your a medical pioneer Rob! WooHoo.
If you start holding back, I will be pissed and I will quit reading.
"Ponder Alert!" LOL!!
Fuggeddabout it. Get some sleep, A-man.
I answered you Susie because he wouldn't have. Sorry if that annoyed you.
Only I know whether or not I visit this site regularly. He wouldn't have a clue.
Glad I finally found you... years ago I went to the "Electric Cowboy Festival" in Colombia, Tenn. wearing a t-shirt that said "PHUQUEMALL' ..it showed up in time mag. Glad you're still with us. Some times you're a ... but at least you're our... ole.
Fuck what a reader thinks. What you say and whether it pisses anyone off is between you and that person. Whether it's Sam, me, or anyone else. If you say something and it bugs someone - they'll let you know and you'll deal with it then.
I hate when people try to act as MY conscience. They have no idea what's going on with me just as they have no idea what's going on with you.
I am incorrigable and guilt-free
is why i keep coming back to visit. i don't always say something, but i keep coming back.