Gut Rumbles

August 23, 2003

i wanna run for governor


I don't live in California (thank Bejus), but I figure that I am ALMOST a citizen of that state because California nutcakes pollute my life every day. Dianne Feinstein is a weapons expert and tells me what kind of guns I can own. Henry Waxman is a malignant anti-smoking dwarf that keeps me from smoking in many restaurants. Barbra Boxer needs to be put in a sturdy box and hermetically sealed because she is a dangerous asswit.

Besides, I live close to the Atlantic Ocean, which eventually blends with the Pacific Ocean, so I may as well be in California as Jawja. I am certain that a federal judge could see the connection clearly. Federal judges see such insane clear connections all the time.

I want to be the next governor of Cally-forication. I promise to do diddly-squat about anything. I won't raise taxes and I won't work long hours. I'm going to live in the Governor's Mansion and parade prostitutes through there like a marching band. I'll let problems solve themselves while I break in my bionic Roscoe. But I'll pay for the hookers with my own money, unlike typical politicians.

Who gives a shit about Cally-for-numbia? I damn sure don't.

But I STILL would make a better governor than Gray Davis.


I'd vote for you! Love that picture.

Posted by: Kate on August 23, 2003 09:10 AM

Ya you got my vote too. But there's one problem with your plan; there is no governor's mansion. Reagan had one built but the Lib's screamed bloody murder and had it sold.

Posted by: Diane K on August 23, 2003 01:09 PM

Wouldn't most of the candidates be better than Davis? That's not saying much!

Good picture though!

Posted by: Jay Solo on August 23, 2003 01:42 PM

The cat in the picture you posted below would be a better governor than Gray Davis, A-man. Larry Flynt would be a better governor than Gray Davis. A steaming pile of snake crap would be a better governor than Gray Davis.

But let no one doubt that Acidman would be a better governor than any of those.

Posted by: McGehee on August 23, 2003 02:44 PM
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