Gut Rumbles

August 19, 2003

I'm a sucker

If kids come by the Crackerbox selling something for their school, the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts or some class project, I always buy it whether I want it or not. Hell, with the way my yard looks, it takes courage to knock on my door and I admire the kids who wait until I put some pants on and go answer the bell.

That can take a while because I often don't recall where I left my pants.

These young panhandlers entreprenuers always get my business because I remember selling "The World's Finest Chocolate" door-to-door when I was a kid. I sold over 500 bars and finished THIRD at Bartlett Junior High School in the 1965 sellathon. A guy named Mike Ponder sold over 1,500 bars and won a throphy plus $25. I got a check for $5.00 and my picture in the school newspaper for my effort. I worked my ass off for that.

That experience showed me once and for all that I never wanted to be a salesman. I'm just not cut out for that kind of work.

But I buy whatever shit the kids are selling because I remember how many people told me "NO!" back when I was peddling door-to-door. My candy cost 25 cents per bar back then. I just bought TWO boxes of exotic popcorn that cost me $20 from a couple of Boy Scouts who managed to walk through the weeds, ring my doorbell and wait until I appeared with pants on. And I had to PAY THEM without seeing any popcorn.

They appeared to be honest young men, but I had to ask. "I'm supposed to give you $20 and you'll deliver my popcorn LATER?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Why should I trust you? How do I know that you won't take my $20 and run off and forget about me?"

They appeared confused for a moment, then the taller one spoke up. "It's Scout's Honor, sir," he said.

"All right," I replied. "I'm going to pay you boys cash money. I'm taking you at your word. You, the little one. Turn around and let me use your back." He did and he was my desk while I filled out the order form. When I was finished, I asked, "When do I get my popcorn?"

"As soon as WE get it, sir!"

"Okay. I'm trusting you guys. Don't let me down."

"WE WON'T!" they exclaimed, and walked off toward the next house. Five minutes later the sky dropped its bottom and a really nice squall blew over the neighborhood. It's raining cats and dogs as I write (keeping the August streak intact).

I hope those two Boy Scouts didn't get trapped outside in this crap.



"Scout's Honor"

That's cute.

I used to be a Cub Scout at one time, but they kicked me out because I ate a Brownie.

Posted by: dwayne on August 19, 2003 06:10 PM

I love that popcorn!

Except I think I paid $15 for one tin of it, if it's the same stuff. $15 and it's worth $5, tops. But the kind I got was soooo good, with almonds and stuff in it.

I don't get critters coming to my door. Not even on halloween unless I work for it, as I am in an apartment building and they don't bother. But I have nieces and nephews who are always doing fundraisers or selling cookies or whatever. And people in this building nring in their kid's order forms for cookies, or sell candy bars to raise money for the daycare in the building. You can spend a fortune.

Posted by: Jay Solo on August 19, 2003 06:15 PM

When I was little, I lived in a trailer park that my family owned. My dad would never let me sell anything in there because he worried that the tenants might feel pressured to buy from me, since I was the owner's daughter. So he always drove me to some neighborhood where nobody knew who I was. Of course, I usually ended up selling most of my cookies or candy to my parents.....because they felt bad for not letting me sell in the trailer park (and probably because they got tired of driving me to some other neighborhood all the time!)
Anyway.....I hated selling that stuff!! So, like you, I always buy whatever the kids are selling!

Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr on August 19, 2003 06:50 PM

Jay - If you get a yen when the scouts aren't coming around, try PoppyCock - in the local grocery store. It's to die for. Three kinds to choose from: pecan/almond, pecan, and cashews. Oh Yummmmm.

Posted by: Indigo on August 19, 2003 08:06 PM

They still let little kids go door to door? Good lord, we know YOU wouldn't hurt them, but what about all the other strangers they are running into?


Posted by: shell on August 19, 2003 08:33 PM

I also buy from anyone that comes to the door......guilt I guess.

Posted by: Doug on August 19, 2003 10:31 PM

Hey Rob - I'll have to remember this when it comes time for Moira to sell Girl Scout cookies..

Posted by: Kate on August 19, 2003 10:39 PM

LOL. I remember 25 years or so ago selling (well, trying to sell) hideously overpriced candy bars door to door in monsoons and blizzards to raise money for, of all things, the school athletic department!

Posted by: dragonfly jenny on August 20, 2003 02:11 PM
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