Gut Rumbles

August 05, 2003

how it works

I received an email from the BC today... NO, GODDAMIT! Let me back up. I was walking somewhere that I needed to go and I couldn't see around the corner, but I heard my ex-wife say "Herrow." That's what she does to impress people that she doesn't give a shit about. She does that happy-faced, Charlie Chan "herrow" to people who don't know her.

I turned the corner and ran into her and the Plant Manager. The plant manager said, "Rob, how are things going in Finishing?" I replied, "Not that bad, boss. All the problems are minor and we should have a good production day."

He said, "GOOD!" and bulled on by me. That left me face to face with my ex-wife.

"Herrow," she said, with that same phoney fuck-face that she uses on everyone else in that plant. I said, "Herrow," too, because I didn't know what else to say. I spent a lot of time thinking about that encounter later.

That woman slept in my bed for ten years. We grew a son together. We owned and sold five different houses as we did better in life. I held her when she was sick and I once thought that we shared every secret we ever had with each other.

Now, I rate a "Herrow," and a big phoney grin when our paths cross.

I don't understand people who own a Magic Slate in their minds. Just pull the tab and everything ever written on the page goes away. Nothing was never there to begin with. It was all just lines on a Magic Slate.

I was married to one of those people. I never believed that she could operate that way until she pulled the tab on me. Now, she is rising to new heights in a company that sent me another "Company Code of Ethics" form to sign the other day.

It swears you to honesty, fealty, fair practices, respect for fellow man and good conduct in all aspects of your life. Fuck. I signed it. She did, too, the bloodless cunt.

What a fucking joke. My ex-wife is in charge of a finger-pointing, career-destroying pimp brigade, dedicated to fucking with people every chance they get. She is the PERFECT head of that militia. Her code of ethics is lower than that of an alley rat, but that's the kind of behavior the company rewards. Just sign the fucking paper. We don't really mean that bullshit.

Aw, I'm ranting now and I'm going to shut up. I didn't really mean MY bullshit, either. I just pulled the tab on the Magic Slate and it never happened. That's ethical, isn't it?

My problem is that I DO have a bullshit detector. And I can't turn it off.


You forgot to tell us what happened with the email that thing sent you.

Posted by: Jenny on August 5, 2003 08:38 PM

My thought: When she says (in the Japanese mode) "Herro" switch to the Pilipino mode and say "Puck you."

Just a thought.

Posted by: Hank on August 5, 2003 10:06 PM

You may rate a "herrow" now from her, but a few weeks, you'll be rating purrs, growls, oooooohs, and a host of other sounds from women that WILL be sincere.

Posted by: Da Goddess on August 5, 2003 10:57 PM

"I don't understand people who own a Magic Slate in their minds. Just pull the tab and everything ever written on the page goes away. Nothing was never there to begin with. It was all just lines on a Magic Slate. "

Unfortunately I was involved with one of these people too. It was terrifying to watch the tab being pulled. It makes you feel completely meaningless.

Posted by: U on August 5, 2003 11:48 PM

What's far, far worse than the "magic slate" where all the past gets erased is the one where shit that never happened appears in place. Man, everytime I read your posts about the BC, it just gets me thinking. I saw this kind of situation from where Quinton is, and it was hell. These people have bullshit detectors, but they are set to paranoid, and never aimed towards themselves. Something is wrong only when it goes badly for them.

Posted by: Garrett on August 6, 2003 12:00 AM

I've known people who can edit their memory at will. Those people are very scary.

I actually witnessed it happening in real time. A college friend forgot she was scheduled to work. When she remembered, she decided to tell her supervisor that her ulcer had been bothering her and she had been too sick to even think of calling. As the conversation went on, and the rest of us wondered aloud if the supervisor would buy it (she had a lot of absenteeism), Linda kept insisting that she would be okay. Finally she said, "She better not fire me! I was sick!" And from that moment on, she "remembered" having been dreadfully ill and unable to call in.

I was dumb back then to hang out with her. I'm a bit more discriminating now. People like that do not get to be important in my life.

Posted by: shell on August 6, 2003 01:15 AM

Don't fool yourself for a minute that some tab was pulled and all was erased. Trust me, there's a mental poloroid floating around somewhere, ready to be pulled out when needed. That kind always had a back-up.

You may think that blank stare denotes a blank etch-a-sketch, but if you look close, there's little shadow lines all over the screen. And when you least expect it, expect it.

I speak from experience. I was forced to develop that dispicable quality in myself once. One of those situations where no one believed what was going on, and the person in question had to be given enough rope... So I have to go on, pretending the slate is clear and clean, until the opportunity presented.

Happily, that "super-power" was lost in a recent kryptonite storm... or was it?

Posted by: Mamamontezz on August 6, 2003 08:37 AM

"Magic slate". Perfectly put. It's been very hard for me to understand people who have that wipe-it-off-the-slate thing going on ... Makes me feel like a jackass ... like I wasn't issued a "magic slate" on the day they handed them out.

I was absent on "Magic Slate" give-away day.

Posted by: red on August 6, 2003 10:03 AM

Good rant. I think alot of us can relate to that shit. You're a good man Charlie Brown...

Posted by: Jeff on August 6, 2003 10:42 AM

Loved your site. Nice to see someone who rants as good as I do. Check out my blog ..

Posted by: julian on August 6, 2003 10:55 AM

"I don't understand people who own a Magic Slate in their minds. Just pull the tab and everything ever written on the page goes away."

Imagine having a parent like this (I don't have to.)

Posted by: Juliette on August 6, 2003 03:58 PM

I don't know anything about her but I wouldn't bet shes wiped the slate clean. Every now and then I bet she wonders about everything that happened...if she lets herself that is. Its possible she wont allow herself to look back because shes made her bed so to speak...

I'm exausted but wanted to pop in and let you know I'm always keeping up with you whether I note or not..As always,Trease

Posted by: Trease on August 6, 2003 04:28 PM
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