Gut Rumbles

June 08, 2003

we're getting there

Summers in Georgia are hot.

My parents never put an air conditioner in their house until after I moved out. I remember many a night when I crawled out of the puddle of sweat in my bed and slept on the tile floor of my bedroom to get some relief from the oppressive heat and humidity. I sweat like a car wash to this day.

Believe this:

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN Georgia in the SUMMER when...

*The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
*The trees are whistling for the dogs.
*The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
*Hot water now comes out of both taps.
*You can make sun tea instantly.
*You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
*The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
*You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
*You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
*You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
*You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
*Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
*You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
*The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add
butter, salt and pepper.
*Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
*The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Yeah, you piss steam, too.

But I would rather sweat than shiver any day.


* The newly arrived neighbors from Alaska are hiding in their freezer until November.

(BTW, the light stays on.)

Posted by: McGehee on June 8, 2003 04:13 PM

Sounds like NC to me. It MUST be NC. It's so familiar. :-)

Posted by: Indigo on June 8, 2003 05:23 PM

I, too, would rather sweat than shiver. I have been doing a lot of sweating this last month.

Posted by: pw101 on June 8, 2003 05:39 PM

Acidman, you are out of your frigging mind to put up with that. You remind me of someone who shits his pants and BRAGS about how well he tolerates shitty pants.

I ain't impressed.

Oh, and you can STILL bite me!

Posted by: Buster on June 8, 2003 05:40 PM

LOL it gets that hot in IOWA too, just a shorter season. I'll never forget the year my daughter threatened to call child abuse on me because we didn't have air-conditioning. I have never seen the need for it. I freeze all damn winter, and you want me to pay to freeze all summer too?

I'll take the sweat and suntan everytime!

Posted by: Sassy on June 8, 2003 07:00 PM

My central heat and air went out months ago,
I never thought I'd go this long without it but I have, I can, and I even *kinda* like it...Trease

Posted by: Trease on June 8, 2003 07:00 PM

Iowa is the worst of both worlds -- Georgia hot and humid in summer, and Alaska cold in the winter.

My dad grew up there and loves the place. But I didn't inherit his insanity -- I got it from my mother.

Posted by: McGehee on June 8, 2003 08:27 PM

Alaska cold?

That's an insult. It gets COLDER here than in Alaska. We go to Alaska in the winter to enjoy a warmer climate. On average, most of Alaska is 10-20 degrees WARMER during winter than Iowa. Lemme tell ya, you have not experienced winter until you live through an Iowa one.

In 1993, it didn't get above -40. For more than a week. And that is NOT wind chill. With the wind chill, it was -75. Most places would establish records with those temps because it happened on ONE DAY.

The average daytime temperature for the entire state during winter is 34 above. In 1997, Sioux City Iowa went from 33 above to 91. IN ONE DAY.
And several times it snowed on the Fourth of July! In the entire state!

Global warming, my ass.

Posted by: Buster on June 8, 2003 09:00 PM

Heh... Your comments about the weather reminded me of the time down in South Texas when it was so hot that the corn growing in the fields popped.... The cows saw all of this, thought it was snow, and froze to death!

Posted by: Bob on June 9, 2003 12:28 AM

Buster, don't confuse Anchorage (a.k.a., the Cancun of Alaska) with Alaska.

Posted by: McGehee on June 9, 2003 06:15 AM

LMAO. You're silly. Just like me.

Still LMAO...

Posted by: stevie on June 9, 2003 11:57 AM

In 2000 I worked in a mall in Austin TX. One day in summer, someone ran their car into a tree on the sidewalk. The impact knocked a nestling out of the nest and it cooked on the pavement. Now that's HOT.

Posted by: SamuraiGrant on June 9, 2003 12:15 PM

Been there. Fucking LOVED that. It's only in the mid-80s here, bring on the heat!!

Posted by: sugarmama on June 9, 2003 01:55 PM

You forgot to mention the black gnats. Bad enough to make a preacher cuss.

Posted by: Dennis P. on June 9, 2003 05:46 PM

it is hot as hell in Houston.... and we love every minute of it.

You can thaw out anything from your freezer faster than the microwave by just setting it outside for a minute or two.

It's been in the 90s down here since late april.

Posted by: amanda on June 10, 2003 12:12 PM

Hello Folks,nice site youre running!

Posted by: Preteen on October 12, 2003 11:35 AM

Nice site you have!

Posted by: lolita on November 4, 2003 03:06 AM

Anyone can learn from pain.

Posted by: Garelik Jane on May 3, 2004 02:09 PM
Post a comment