Gut Rumbles

May 31, 2003

acidman on golf

That dickwitted woman who excoriated me for being "physically and mentally unattractive" (she also called patrick ruffini a "sophomoric blogger," just so you understand how sophisticated she is) wants Annika Storenstam to play again on the men's PGA tour. Annika doesn't want to.

Annika learned her lesson. There is a HUGE difference between what the men do every week and what the ladies do on the LPGA tour. I've read other bloggers (it's in there. I just didn't bother to go find the exact post) belittle golf as a game that's not very physical. People who say that are wrong.

I once was a pretty fair golfer. I have no doubt that I could drag my dusty clubs out of the garage today and break 90 on a local course. I have enough muscle memory to handle that job.

But I'm talking about a LOCAL COURSE, one that I've played over and over, so that I know where to hit my shots with what club and where NOT to miss. That's a course where I know the greens and how the putts break.

The PGA pros play a different course every week and they don't have a lot of time to learn the tricks. Plus, they walk all eighteen holes. That may not sound like much to anyone who has never walked eighteen holes at Augusta National (I didn't play there, but I walked it), but those hills are killers. Golf is more physical for the pros than most people realize.

And it's a mental killer. The pros don't ride around drinking beer in a golf cart the way I do. Every shot is a money shot to them. That's what they do for a living, and when one bogey can cost you $90,000, the pressure is intense.

I played golf with a PGA professional once in my life. I thought I was a hot-shot at the time. We played from the blue tees (long for me, short for him) and I knew on the second hole that he was in another dimension from me. The hole is a par four with a big canal about 275 yards from the tee. If I hit my driver well, I could be on the edge of the canal and have a 9-iron to the green.

He flew the canal with his drive and ended up on the fringe of the green, 340 yards away. He sank a 20-foot putt from there and eagled the hole.

That's what Annika Storenstam was up against. And she could not compete any better than I could.

She worked out for six months to get ready for that tournament, and she still couldn't run with the Tall Dogs. Most men can't. NO WOMAN can.

That's one of those unpleasant facts of life that some people, usually lefty butt-wipes, refuse to understand. Everybody can't be that good. It is a Chosen Few who play golf for money and get rich at it. They have the talent, the strength and the mental toughness to do it. Not many people have all of that in one package. You don't make things better by lowering the standards.

Anybody who believes that Annika had a chance to do more than make the cut on the shortest course the men play all year is delusional. But I believe I said that already. She never had a chance.

The GUYS are too good.


If I remember correctly, Colonial is 7080 yards. That's probably 400-500 yards longer than most courses from the whites. Most of the time they play courses in the 7300-7400 range. That's 3-4 of my better shots longer than I'm used to. Of course, those places are groomed to the nth degree, so they seldom have a bad lie in the fairway or a lumpy putt.

Good on Annika, though. She wanted to test herself. She did very respectably. She says she won't do it again.

Posted by: Larry on May 31, 2003 08:48 AM

ESPN just said the course Annika is playing this weekend is 670 yards shorter than Colonial. Doesn't sound right but that is what they said.

Posted by: DavidB on May 31, 2003 09:15 AM

The only thing to make her site readable is to "Shizzolate" it (

The physically 'n mentally unattractive blogger at Gut Rumbles, Rob, has quite a few things be like 'bout brizzle bloggers, 'n brizzle in general, know what I'm sayin'?

1) Fools write better blogs than most brizzle do n' shit. Other than fools who blog 'bout they fucking, shit-ass cats 'n fools wit MONKEYS on they page, fools generally write better than brizzle do n' shit. There are exceptions, but they simply prove da rule." Breezy don't write many humorous blogs at izzall n' shit. They lack da ability laugh at themselves n' shit. They worry constantly 'bout someone else laughing at 'em, know what I'm sayin'?

." n' shit. .3) Breezy are meaner in real life than fools, but they don't admit that shiznit on blogs n' shit. Breezy are da most vicious, throat-cutting, back-stabbing, sell-yo' ass-down-da-river breed of humankind on da face of da planet, but they DENY THA FACTS n' shit. They write "sensitive" blogs, know what I'm sayin'? They put flowers on they pages 'n really like having lot's of "skins" (most of which they peeled from ex-husbands 'n hung on da wall like a throphy) (sic), know what I'm sayin'? I don't buy that crap n' shit. A brizzle is a d-o-g that bites yo' ass after yo' ass pet that shiznit."

Ladies, this one doesn't qualify take out izzle garbage, know what I'm sayin'?

Posted by: Patrick on May 31, 2003 09:18 AM

People that say that about golf are ignorant and have probably never played it. Or they have a social agenda to rid the world of the 'elitist' sport.

Golf is one of the most difficult sports there is. You are hitting a small ball with a small stick into a small hole that is hundreds of yards away. And you are supposed to do it in 3 to 5 strokes, and you are supposed to do it over and over again.

I have great respect for anyone that can manage that on a consistent basis.

Posted by: Ravenwood on May 31, 2003 09:53 AM

Oh but that's not fair to the 'fairer sex'! They need to downgrade, lower the standards to level the playing ground. It's sooooooooooooooo racist to have two leagues of any sport, it should all be generic. I mean you're talking about differences between the sexes, and that's sexually discriminating...oh wait...maybe someone should file a class action suit against MOTHER NATURE, for being so discriminating!

Posted by: quark2 on May 31, 2003 02:46 PM

I originally thought a woman playing w/ the men, & holding her own was a really cool thing. Until my husband pointed out the PC of the whole thing. If a man wanted to compete on the Women's Tour he would NEVER, NEVER, be allowed, and for good reason.He would pretty much "clear the decks" every time.
I'm proud of what she did, and under such incredible pressure especially from the media and "Women's Groups".
Go Annika!!
But lets try to keep it in perspective.
(Written by a woman who has never swung a golf club, not even mini-golf!!!!)

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