May 01, 2003
ever read a P&ID?
How many of my loyal readers even know what a P&ID IS? Well, I'm going to tell you.
That's a Piping and Instrument Diagram. That's the first phase of a giant pain in my Cracker ass that emerges when some engineer has a wet dream one night. Believing that he is Mozart composing a symphony, he draws up plans for the GREAT MANANA and presents them in a meeting.
When I either puke all over them or remain silent, as the meeting goes round-and-round-and-round around me, I become dizzy. Have YOU ever had that "what the fuck am I doing here?" feeling in a meeting? We have 12 people in the room. Eleven of them are talking at once, and the ONLY REASON they are talking is to demonstrate to everyone else in the room just how fucking smart they are.
I've got to run this shit and make it work.
I want to study the P&IDS for a day or so. I want to run these ideas by my operators. THEY work the job. I want their input.
THEN, I'll spout off about what I think.
Maybe I'm crazy... but what I believe makes me a good boss is GIVING THE PEOPLE SOME SAY-SO in what we're expected to do. I don't like edicts from ON HIGH and I don't think the grunts do, either. I'll talk to THEM first, then open my wise-assed mouth in a meeting later.
In the meantime, I've got some thinking to do.
P&ID's are usually drawn up by P&ID's (that's Pinheads and Ignorant Dipshits)
Ever notice how that neat drawing turns into an operator's nightmare once some dipshit places a valve in the overhead, back in the corner? It's always a valve that HAS to operated every time any evolution is performed.
There's also the "We're gonna save a bunch of money by not putting isolation valves on this line. The equipment won't break down."
Hell, my favorite part is when they install all that hardware, and when the pressure sensor or the regulating valve takes a dump, somebody figures out that to replace the thing will require disassembling about half a mile of piping. Or torching it out and doing it right like they should have in the first place.
My second favorite thing is looking for a specific device on the P&ID, and NOBODY knows where it is or what it looks like.
And the drawings are NEVER updated. Freaking NEVER.
Pisspoor & Incomplete Dribblings????
What Kevin said. Always wrong 10 minutes after construction starts.
My brother works at a power plant that just got a set of combined cycle power units installed (gas turbine/steam turbine) and some of the line valves are 30 feet in the air.
They have to run a zoom-boom to get to the damn things......
And what's kept on file is the pile of drawings that were submitted for approval. Do they ever make and keep a set of drawings AS BUILT...noooo, of course not, as that would be too simple an idea for their devious little minds to comprehend.
"AS-BUILTS?" We(contractors) don' need no steenking As-Builts. When you can't find where we
put something, you just call us and (for a
nominal fee) we'll show you where it is. We'll be
coming out anyway, once that wooden croquet ball
we dropped down a vent swells up enough.