Gut Rumbles

April 21, 2003

simple pleasures

There are some things that really SMELL GOOD in life...

* I like the smell of fresh-cut grass. There's something very earthy about that aroma and I like it a lot. It also makes me think about golf courses.

* I like the smell of gasoline. That explains my loss of brain cells over the years.

* I like the smell of burnt gunpowder. It is crisp, acrid and stinging in my nose. I don't just like it... I LOVE IT!!!

* I like the smell of a new car. But I saw something the other day that was just plain WRONG. I saw a blonde woman in a mustang convertable with a HANDICAPPED license plate on the back. Explain that to me. No handicapped asshole has any business driving a mustang convertable. He has no business letting a blonde woman drive his car, either. I hope his handicapped dick falls off, the shitbird. I'll bet that the blonde smelled good.

* I like the smell of peanuts boiling in a big pot on my kitchen stove. It smells like home ought to smell.

* I like the smell of a sweaty woman. Okay! Okay! I KNOW that I'm a pervert! But women smell musky when they sweat and I like that scent. It reminds me of shady places in the mountains. I get all horny just thinking about a sweaty woman. My face can be her bicycle seat. Just hop on and pedal your ass off.

* I like the smell of a Wild Cherry scented candle while I drink wine with a pretty woman and I hope to persuade her right out of her britches, drawers and all. I didn't succeed last night, but I may tonight. I can be very persuasive.

* I like the smell of low tide in the Savannah marshes. Some people don't like that armoa, but I DO. It smells like raw oysters and fiddler crabs. It is a rich, fecund smell that makes me think of sweaty women.

* I like the smell of pigment, too. If the organic level is correct, it smells just like fresh-cooked biscuits. It'll make you fart dust, but it smells good.


Nothing smells better to me than mud flats at low tide.

Posted by: Geoffrey on April 21, 2003 01:40 PM

I'm going to send a link to this article to my husband. He'll hug me close and I'll say "Mmm, you smell good," and he says, "No, I'm funky."

I have tried and tried to tell him there is something indefinable about the mix of sweat, soap, tobacco and a myriad of other things that makes my husband smell like what I call "His Scent." It's a DEFINITE turn-on.

I hope that your descriptions will let him know that it's not "funky." It's fuckable. Heh.

Posted by: margi on April 21, 2003 01:44 PM

I was happy thinking of cut grass smell memories and then you had to mention the 'stang convertable with the handicap license. I agree whole heartedly. I'm a 'stang fanatic, drive one ('93) and work on another ('66) and there is no place for a "handicapped anything" near the pony.

You're right, she probably did smell good. ! )

Posted by: tim on April 21, 2003 02:47 PM

"...the smell of peanuts boiling..."

Now I remember why I haven't had the courage to try boiled peanuts. The smell of hot peanut butter has very bad childhood associations. Emotional trauma. Probably make a good soap opera storyline.

Posted by: Kevin McGehee on April 21, 2003 02:58 PM

To take the other side, LAY OFF about the HP plate on a Mustang...that, dear sir, is none of your damn business what kind of car someone with an HP plate hangs that on.

MB & PB had a '66 Mustang, so we can say so!!

Posted by: MommaBear on April 21, 2003 07:56 PM

MB-- It wasn't a fucking CONVERTABLE, was it? Got-damn, a mustang with a handicapped plate is one thing, but when you throw in a rag-top, and a jewel-encrusted blonde, I CALL BULLSHIT!!!

I am sorry, Mommabear. I become very passionate for no good reason anymore. I believe that I have a hormone imbalance.

Posted by: Acidman on April 21, 2003 08:48 PM

Ugh! Sweaty women and Fiddler crabs. Scares me! But I do like the smell of sweaty women. I have never been out with a Fiddler crab. At least, not that I know of.

Posted by: Jim T. on April 21, 2003 08:49 PM

I love the smell of styrene in the morning. It smells like........Money!

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on April 21, 2003 09:09 PM

You're right, Margi-- the "guy smell" is a BIG turn-on...... (ah, the sweet smell of cigs and jet fuel on a sweaty guy....)

Posted by: Sailorette on April 21, 2003 10:28 PM

One combo is the smell that I soak up after mowing the lawn and barbequeing dinner over the hot coals with wood chips...I always try to take the shower after starting the meat on the grill, but the smell out in the yard is still there when I go out to finish the cooking...

I love the smell at the air much fuel.

Posted by: Carl on April 21, 2003 11:36 PM

This guy I once dated used to smell like laundry everytime he sweated. That mixed with his sweat, tobacco and his cologne. MMMMMMM.

I really liked American high school locker rooms ;)

Posted by: meesh on April 22, 2003 02:38 AM
Post a comment