Gut Rumbles

May 14, 2012

my grass

Originally published October 17, 2003

I had nothing but weeds and sand in my yard when I purchased the Crackerbox. It looked like Fido's ass. I went to the seed & feed store and bought five pounds of centipede grass seed and a little hand-cranked spreader.

I tilled my front yard and along both sides of the house. (I decided to leave the woods where they are in my back yard, because I can walk around nekkid without worrying about shocking a neighbor who spies me in the kitchen.) I spread the grass seed. I then watered and worshipped, but the grass seed didn't do shit. My yard still looked like Fido's ass. I gave up on it.

We had a lot of rain this year. I didn't set out a sprinkler all summer long and I have grass growing everywhere now. I'm talking about REAL CENTIPEDE GRASS, with long runners spreading out all over the place. My Fido's ass is turning into a LAWN! The centipede is choking out the bahia grass and the thistles that once infected my property. It looks GOOD.

I went through a spell when I didn't care what my home looked like. I didn't give a shit about much back then. But I'm starting to take some pride in how pretty my lawn is now.

Maybe I'll plant some flowers next spring.

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