Gut Rumbles

February 14, 2012

itty bitty titties

Originally published October 11, 2003

I don't understand why wimmen worry so much about their tits.

I went almost two years with a broke dick. Now THAT will fuck you up. I would have been happy with a LITTLE dick during those months of limpness. Hell, I stuck a hypodermic needle in my member to jump-start him during those days. I had a "fix-a-flat" kit.

If someone marketed an "inflate my titties kit," would wimmen buy it? I shot my dick with elixer because that's the only way I could get it to work. Would wimmen do it just from vanity? ("I really want to impress this guy tonight. I'm going to take a couple of tit-shots before he picks me up for our date.")

I don't care about how other men feel about this delicate and most lucious topic, but I am not a big-tit guy. I prefer wimmen with just a handfull. I like .45 caliber nipples, but I'm not crazy about huge knockers. As a matter of fact, I have known a couple of wimmen with almost NO KNOCKERS who were blessed with EXCELLENT NIPPLES, and I found them to be quite delightful in bed. Big tits just get in the way sometimes when you want to roll around and try different positions.

I like a nice, round ass on a woman. I like pretty red toenails on pretty, feminine feet. I like to drink wine out of a woman's belly-button. I like to perform oral sex on a woman. I like to give nekkid massages. I like playing with finger-paint, whipped cream and mentholated cough drops.

I don't care that much about big titties.

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