Gut Rumbles

March 28, 2011

God's own peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Originally published October 5, 2003

Here's another Acidman recipe. You can ask Quinton and Jack about this one, too. It's damn good.

* Take two slices of Captain John Derst's "Good Old Fashioned" bread out of a loaf and put the slices on a paper plate. Don't forget to put the twist-tie back on the bread package or it'll go all moldy on you.

* Go to the oven and turn it on full-blast "BROIL" setting.

* Slather one slice of bread with a generous amount of Peter Pan Crunchy peanut butter. And I ain't talking about a little dab of peanut butter here. Lay it on at LEAST 1/8" thick all over the bread.

* Break out the Smucker's Grape jelly and slather the other piece of bread with that. You don't need to lay the jelly on as thick as you do the peanut butter, but you should be generous.

* Put the two pieces of bread together, making sure that you make them match. Nothing fucks up this sandwich worse than an upside down or bass-ackward piece of bread on one side. We need SYMMETRY here.

* Throw the sandwich (along with a couple of others, too, if you are feeding more than one person) into the oven and leave the oven door cracked so that the burner never turns off.

* When the bread toasts a nice, golden brown on top, take a spatula and flip the sandwich.

* Toast the other side to match the front, then remove the sandwich from the oven and serve on a paper plate with a big glass of cold milk. Kids love that. I do, too.

If you really want to experiment with this sandwich, put a slice of cheese between the peanut butter and jelly. You won't believe how good that tastes.

I'll post more recipes from my cookbook later.

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