Gut Rumbles

February 13, 2010

Having to piss

Originally published September 3, 2004

I once hated to take a woman on a long car trip. She always had to piss about every 50 miles. I didn't like doing all that stopping, especially when I didn't need gas and I didn't need to pee. I wanted to get where we were going.

But I've changed my mind now. Prostate surgery will do that to you.

Recondo learned that lesson on our cross-country trip. "Rick, pull over. I need to piss."

"We'll be in a town in 15 minutes. You can piss there."

"Rick, either you pull over RIGHT NOW, or I'm gonna piss all over the front seat of the 'stang. Maybe YOU can wait 15 minutes, but I can't. Pull over NOW!!!"

He learned that I wasn't kidding. (I won't go into details about that. Just use your imagination.)

That's one of the things that really bothers me about the prostate surgery. In spite of all the Keagle exercises and all the practice I've done at maintaining my continence, I am subject to a sudden eruption at any time, and I don't always get an early warning. If I have to go, I HAVE TO GO! Right now! No debate about it! PULL OVER AND LET ME PISS!!!

If you don't pull over and let me piss, I'll water your seat. And my pants. And it will be all YOUR FAULT because you didn't listen to me.

Such is life for me anymore.

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