Gut Rumbles

August 07, 2009


Originally PUBLISHED September 13, 2005

I'm a good cook, but I've never been worth a damn at making pastries. Hell--- even my biscuits suck. I can make damn good cornbread, but that's about it. Me and flour just don't mix.

I bought a cherry pie yesterday and I have thououghly enjoyed munching on that thing. Whoever made that one knew what she was doing. It tastes like something Mama baked. SHE could cook anything and make it taste good.

I sometimes make pies, but I buy the frozen crusts and stuff them full of seafood. That makes a damn good meal. Here's how I do it:

Catch some shrimp or crab (even crawfish) and dice the meat up into small pieces. You can use all three at one time if you want to.

Sautee some celery, Vidalia onion and bell pepper in a pan until the onions are tender. Throw all of that stuff and your seafood into a bowl.

Crack in TWO raw eggs and mix the contents of the bowl into a nice goo. Add some black pepper, some Worchestershire Sauce, some cayanne pepper, a dash of salt and just a dab or two of Tabasco Sauce.

Then, mix some fine-shredded chedder cheese into the goo. Pour it all into a pre-baked pie crust, sprinkle some more cheese over the top, then mash up some Ritz crackers and cover the goo with those crumbs.

Pop it into the oven at 400 degrees and let it bake for thirty minutes. Serve with wine and a tossed green salad.

You can get laid making that dish.

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