Gut Rumbles

May 30, 2009


Originally published November 9, 2003

To go with the post below:

I potty-trained Quinton by teaching him to piss outdoors. He was outside with me one day, and he started grabbing at his diapered crotch as he usually did when he had to pee. "You need to wee-wee?" I asked. I didn't get a response. "Well, I do," I said, and I whipped Roscoe out and let loose right by the back fence.

The next thing I know, my boy half-masted his pants and started pissing right along with daddy. "Feels better than wearing it in your drawers, doesn't it?" I asked. I believe that he figured that part out that day. The only problem we had after that was teaching Quinton to go TO THE BATHROOM. If he needed to wee-wee, he would break for the door and go outside.

That was fine until the day he took a shit in the front yard right when the school bus was going by. I remember Jennifer saying, "See what you've taught him?"

Hell, I figured that shitting in the front yard was a vast improvement over shitting in his pants. We had the message transmitted. Now, all we had to do was refine the translation. That process didn't take long to accomplish.

But my boy STILL likes to pee outdoors.

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