Gut Rumbles

May 22, 2009


Originally published November 10, 2003

I can't help it.

I should know better by now, but I don't believe that I'll ever learn my lesson. When I see a good-looking woman, I am immediately attracted to her. I'll go flirt with her in a heartbeat and see where things go from there. I don't fear rejection (Bejus knows I've had plenty of that!) because I don't fear wimmen. The fact that they have a pussy doesn't frighten me. That fact INTRIGUES me.

I don't consider myself to be a pick-up artist or one of those body-building, well-coiffed, mouth-spray-using stud-muffins who strut the bars and the dance-places while wimmen drool over them. I am an old fart who isn't all that handsome. I am not big and muscular. I don't resemble the guy with the rippling biceps on the cover of the romance novel that a lot of wimmen read around swimming pools at vacation resorts.

But I am not shy, and I am a natural flirt. I learned a long time ago that it isn't always the best "looking" guy who wins the lady.

Personality counts for a lot, but you've got to be willing to show it. It's the same thing I learned playing poker years ago: "Never up, never in." I don't see anything wrong with asking an attractive woman if I can buy her a drink at the bar. There're no strings attached and she can say no if she wants to. She can accept the drink and there STILL are no strings attached. I just want to introduce myself.

Too many men are afraid to do that. Why?

Wimmen won't bite you (well, they WILL if you get really lucky) and they're probably sitting there alone at the bar waiting for someone to talk to. Walk up, say hello and offer to buy her a drink. What's the worst thing that can happen? She tells you to get lost and go piss up a rope, you replusive bastard, because she wouldn't fuck you if you were that last man alive on the planet? Big deal.

Yeah, that could happen, but be prepared to just smile and walk away in that event. Or, her weightlifting boyfriend could emerge from the bathroom and suddenly beat the living shit out of you right there at the bar while she screams "Kill him! Kill him!"

Okay, forget that second scenario. That one doesn't happen often and it certainly does not reinforce my point. I was digressing there...

I forget what my point was because I'm enjoying some more gin tonight. I think I meant to say that a lot of ships pass in the night because neither the man nor the woman had the nerve to just walk up and say hello. How many potientially beautiful relationships were lost because of pure cowardice?

Don't let that happen to you when you see someone attractive. Take a chance.

Just walk up and say hello.

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