Gut Rumbles

April 29, 2009


Originally published November 13, 2003

Recondo 32 and I went to Oliver, Georgia, today to straighten out the tickets we received on the way to Blood Mountain. With my paperwork in hand and and a legal sticker on my license plate, they dropped the "expired tag" charges. But they hit Recondo with a $200 fine for going 57 MPH through the 35 MPH zone in their shit-assed litttle crossroad. I paid half, but he was still pissed.

"That's part of Bill Clinton's 100,000 new cops on the street," I told Recondo. "How do you think a podunk town such as Oliver affords that shiny police car and a brand-new radar gun?"

"Goddam speed-trap!" Recondo said. "I'm writing a letter to the fucking governor. Who IS the governor of this fucking bass-ackward, fucked-up state anyway?"

"Sonny Perdue," I replied. "But you can write Roy Barnes for all the good it's going to do you. Let's just go back home and call it a day. And remember never to speed again in Oliver, Georgia."

"Goddam speed-trap. Goddam fucked-up state. How can you stand to live here? I'm writing a letter to the goddam governor about this shit. $200? That's fucking outrageous! LOOK AROUND! What am I gonna hit on the road around here if I AM speeding? A fucking COW? My aching ass."

Recondo simmered down once we were away on the road a few miles. He saw a sign at a local ball field. "Jenkins is playing here this weekend," he said.

That's my old school. "They haven't had a decent football team since the year I graduated," I replied. "They once ran one of the top five programs in the state. They suck anymore."

"What made it a good program when you played there?" Recondo asked.

"Good coaches, good players and a rich booster club."

"AHA! Do you know what changed? You can't boost your own school anymore. All of the money goes into one pot and the system divides it and hands it out equally to make it fair."

"I wouldn't contribute to that kind of bullshit," I said.

"Nobody else does, either," Recondo replied. "That's why Savannah football sucks anymore."

We talked about three-a-day football practices at summer camp in Georgia and OCS School for a young man from South Carolina back in the late 60's. "You BOND with people you go through that kind of shit with," Recondo observed.

I looked at him and smiled. Yes... you BOND with those kind of people.

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