Gut Rumbles

March 17, 2009

I did it

Originally published November 18, 2003

I played at "The Music Box" tonight. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I met a wonderful musician named Wanda who plays there as the featured entertainer. She performs on keyboard, guitar, saxophone and mandolin and she's LEFT HANDED! When I walked in, I saw her making a nice Fender Strat cry like a baby on stage. I immediately noticed the she had the guitar hanging the wrong way over her shoulder, so I figured that she flipped the bridges and strung it upside-down the way most left-handers do.

But I was wrong.

When the Open Mic started, Wanda asked if anyone could play lead and the people at my table all pointed at me and said, "HE CAN!" I told Wanda that I couldn't play a left-handed guitar, but she dragged me to the stage and said, "Pick it up." I was astonished. The guitar was strung right-handed.

She PLAYED the sumbitch upside-down. And she played the shit out of it, too.

I ended up playing that Strat for most of the night as I backed up people who had no sense of rhythm and who wanted to play songs I never heard before. I did okay and got a very nice compliment from Wanda at the end of the evening. I suggested that she get a monitor speaker so that the asshole playing alleged leads could HEAR better next time.

She said that she would and she invited me to come back next Tuesday night. She's got a great voice and I showed off some harmony. I want to vocalize with her. The fact that she can cut my ass on a guitar while playing upside-down doesn't bother me at all. I like her.

Here's another highly erotic image for me: Watch a woman on stage, making a Fender Strat weep, with her eyes closed and a cigarette hanging from the corner of her mouth. Goddam! I almost fell in love tonight.

I'll be back next Tuesday.

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