Gut Rumbles

March 15, 2009

Music rules

Originally published November 19, 2003

Here are a few things I learned from playing in a bar for the first time in many years:

1) Drunks don't sing or play very well.

2) A lot of sober people believe that they can sing and play when they really can't.

3) Don't EVER allow a woman to sing "Me and Bobbie McGee" or a man to sing "Rocky Top." That's just bad news.

4) NEVER trust a guy wearing a cowboy hat in southeast Georgia. WTF is that all about? This ain't Texas.

5) Playing LOUD doesn't make you sound better if you can't play in the first place.

6) Some wimmen look really good on stage, even if they're not all that pretty when they step off.

7) Some people can't dance and they SHOULDN'T, even when the music is good.

8) The drunker YOU get, the better the band sounds. That fact gives you no right to walk up and grab a guitar that doesn't belong to you and try to play it when you can't play when you're sober.

9) I could live with a woman who plays guitar better than I do. I believe that we could make beautiful music together.

10) I want to go back and do what I did tonight again.

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