March 04, 2009

Big fucking deal

Originally published February 10, 2004

I seem to have alienated the woman I took to Jamaica with me. So, I took my Colt .38 and ran through 50 speed-loads on the back porch. I ain't half-bad. From 20 to 40 feet, I'll make you wish you never missed me when you shot first. From 50 yards, I'll shoot the caps off beer bottles with a .22 riflle. I can hit a catetope at 100 yards with my 30.06. I like to shoot.

And when I get pissed off, I like to shoot a lot.

My cop neighbor came down to see what I was doing today. "How good are you with a speedloader?" I asked. "I''m pretty good."he said.

"Okay, try this. I've got five loaders and a full .38. right here. See that toy box in the yard? I already wiped out the "A" so you go for the "X" next." He picked up the revolver, shot five times, put a speedloader in there faster than I could and wiped out that "X" with his next five shots.

I was impressed. "Okay, try this, badass."

I my got .22 and set set up six beer bottles in a row on a rail. I shot all six without taking anything but the caps off them. The cop was impressed. "Can I fire that thing?" he asked. "Go ahead," I said. "But the sights shoot high at about 4:00 Aim a little low and right and you get better. Put something at 6:00 and you've got it's ass. That's Kentucky windage,

He shot some beer cans, killed a couple of squirrels and then he asked me to show him a trick shot. I drove four nails into the goat fence, then drove all four nails with the .22. Then I said "see that strand of barbed wire just above that last nail? He saw it. "Watch the barb right above my last shot." I shot it off the wire, clean as a whistle.

I made a friend today. He used to come down and shoot with me all the time a while back, but our paths disconnected. I really blew his mind when I lit a kitchen match in the fencepole from about 50 yards. I was a good shot. He was a cop, but he wasn't that good.

That's one of the things I'm trying to teach Quinton. now. He's moved up from BB guns to pellet rifles, now .22s and .410 shotguns. I give him the same lessons on every one.

*don't fire if you can't see the target. Know where the bullet might go if you miss. I don't want to EVER have to tell Mrs Goodman that you shot her cat because you were violating ever rule I ever taught you. You'll never have another gun if you do that crap."

*Trust your gunsights. Pick your target, aim well and SQUEEZE the trigger. The most suprised person on the planet should be YOU when that gun fires. If you don't fire that way, you'll miss.

* wear earplugs. I never did when I was a kid, but loud noises never bothered me back then. Those noises bother you now and you worry about whether a gun will "kick" or not. I won't give to a gun to shoot that will kick you on your ass. Trust me on that question. You can handle a .410 and that's about as large as you need to get now.

I don't see anything wrong with what I'm doing.