Gut Rumbles

February 02, 2009

For those who asked

Originally published February 5, 2004

I have not gone crazy. I've always been crazy,

This medication I'm taking for my foot fucks me up like something ridiculous. That day is today again and what is my name? Gimme another pill.

I've got more divorce (pronounced FOREVER AND EVER, amen) writs against me and more are coming. The lawyers and the vengeful ex-wife damned sure won't forget about them.

Did you people see the film of a disgruntled client attempting to kill his lawyer as the barrister ducked behind an oak tree? That was real news, right outside the courtroom. The dickheade shot six times and inflicted one flesh wound on the lawyer. That idiot has never been squirrel hunting in his life.

I'm all for killing a lot of lawyers. We just need to hire good shots.

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