Gut Rumbles

February 01, 2009

The gauntlet was thrown

Originally published November 24, 2003

Somebody dared me today to write a post about sex. Okay, I'm in. (Did you catch the pun?)

I've bedded many wimmen in my life, and a lot of them had blonde hair on their heads. But they also had something in common with a 747 Jumbo Jet: they carried a black box. I've known only two natural blondes in my life.

They both were beautiful, with fair skin and almost translucent complexions. They both had blue eyes and were wildcats in the sack. I remember once, lying in bed with Nancy at about 4:00 in the afternoon when the sun came through the curtains just right. I saw something amazing. I told her, "Please don't move."

I'm not going to say what I was doing just before that moment or how I ended up gazing from that angle, but I've never seen anything so lovely since. She had the finest, downy hair on her belly that wasn't visible to the naked eye. But when the sun hit it that afternoon, it lit up like a halo. "You're glowing," I said.

"Purrrr. Yeah. I feel pretty good," she replied.

"No, you don't understand. You are GLOWING right now. I can see it. You resemble an angel."

"You're stoned, Rob." Well, I was full of dope-smoke, but I know what I saw. That fine, blonde hair on her belly caught the sun just right and it lit up with a wonderful light. She really did glow at the time. I wanted just to look at her nekkid body in that light for a few minutes, then mount her like a wild stallion. That's what I did.

She moved to California shortly thereafter. She went all liberal and married an environmentalist. I don't communicate with her anymore.

But I remember the day that she glowed.

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