Gut Rumbles

January 25, 2009

My blog

Originally published February 3, 2004

I've gotten a lot of shit from readers lately telling me that my blog has taken a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut, Maybe it did. I've had a lot on my mind lately.

But I'll tell every one of you people this fact: I don't give a shit wherer you read my blog or not. I will be here be wherher you like my cornbread or not. You can read my blog or not as you see fit. It's a free goddam country and you can make your own choices. If you don't want to read me, bite me.

This is nothing but a damned blog. I paid dearly for writing it, but that was all fm choice. I can live with the consequences. I can live with readers telling me to go to hell, too. I can live with those accusing me of being a drug addict or bipolar. I know what I can live through, and that thought just might suprise a few of you really fuck-up believer that believe I suck now.

Do you know how tough you are? Hell, no you don't. Get your candy ass stuck in a sitiatuion where you HAVE to be tough for about three days. If you come walking out of there in one piece, you're tough.

I've been in places like that and walked out in one piece after three days. I found myself in situations where I might die if I crossed the river wrong and I had all I to I was at loss loss iwhere t crossed 17 more times. I walked out of there, drenched, freezing and knowing that if I had to cross that river one more time, I would die trying. It was a bitch.

Two boy scouts drowned that weekend by allowing the water the take them.

The first really bad crossing we made, the water was about 4'deep and rushing brown as a cocker spaniel. We made a decision. Since I was the lightest person, it made more sense to tie a rope around me and see if it could make to ohter side I went, kekkid as a jaybird, toting a return rope and my pack on my soulders. I made it to the other side and alnost froze my ass of before I could get clothes back on.

I sent to return rope to Calvin and we rigged a skyrail so that poeple could wade the river and siill carry their packs before we burned our hands. We did that 17 times. It was an adventure. We resembled drowned rats when be made it back to the vehicle.

I don't believe that I've ever been more delighted to see a truck home in my life. It ws parked right where we left it, it a heavy a cooler full of beer in truck and Rick was driving. "Damn! If we all sit in here, the seats are gonna get wet. I can't sit here."

"Good," I said. "Go get in the trunk. Stay here, Don't open your fucking mouth again." We duck-taped taped pretty good

"Steve, Calvin and Rob will help to kill you if you don't shut up."

We saw a Waffle Hoase about a mile ahead and immediately we were crazed eggs and grits and waffle frenzy. "Lets go THERE!" I shouted I received no complaints. We whipped into the parling lot and needed serious pig-pou to pay this blll. I put it all on Jenny's credit card.

Meanwhile, Rick had not stopped, squirming and atempting to become the suck-plate of the meal when we were minding our own business with exquiste food.

The first cop was one of those tough guys who wanted me to where you want you to pass want to pass a jauntice pit from his tedionitious ass, I kicked his ass and stole his hole gun. I shot him three times in the chest, Rita, using the fhoot own guy I stole from the guy I put lhe past one in his head. I don't think I should sleep at night. I am more agressive and violent at night.

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