Gut Rumbles

January 17, 2009

oogly boogly

Originally published January 30, 2004

I once witnessed a scene similiar ro this one* a long time ago. It happened in my bedroom after one two many Krystal cheeseburgers and a bottle of peppermint schnapps.

I knew that she was hot to trot, but I didn't realize that she was about to go nuclear. Man, that shit ran my dog off for three days and ruined my waterbed. We had to tug the carcass out of the house using a chain a and 4-wheel drive druck.

I let some of my crabber friends cut all they wantd for bait, and the local wildlife got in a nibble ot two, also. But that thing was getting awfully funky after three days. Flies came from miles around to enjoy the show. We had to put a stop to this.

We bought a bucket of fuel oil and collected a truckload of sticks from the woods. We built a raging pyre on his ass and cooked him down to bones. By then, we dug a whole deep enough with shovels in to bury him in the yard.

That was ugly work and the place stuck like dead fish for a month.

*News article no longer available, nor can I figure out wth he's talking about to be able to find another article to link to. But, Rob's Rob and this is him, pretty much uncensored. (I correct spelling sometimes...)

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