Gut Rumbles

November 18, 2008

An interview

Originally published July 31, 2005

She sent me an email, and I'm going to give her a link, which she bet that I wouldn't do, and I'm also going to answer the questions--- although I think she could have probed deeper into the Acidman psyche if she had tried.

I think she just recycles the same questions, but here are MINE:

5 questions for Acidman

1) If a movie was made of your life, what would it be called and who would play you?

"The Cracker Chronicles." You'd need at least THREE actors to play me. Jerry Mathers as a boy, Geraldo Rivera as a young man and Ken Curtis as an old fart.

2) What meal would you have for your last supper?

Pussy, and a Shiner Bock beer. If I'm about to die, I want to go out with a smile on my face.

3) Which 3 fictional people would you most like to talk to over a beer?

Dorian Gray. Jack Crabb. Yossarian.

4) List 10 words that describe how you would like others to define you.

That's not a good question, because I know a lot of people who I want to think well of me, and a lot of others that I could give a shit about. I'll give you ten words that I think describe me.

1. Witty
2. Talented
3. Loud
4. Charming
5. Dangerous
6. Intelligent
7. Dynamic
8. Honest
9. Proud
10. Unashamed

5) If you could travel back through time, where would you go and why?

I'd go back to the day Jennifer gave me her phone number and I'd throw that piece of paper into the Savannah River. Calling HER was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. But I don't think I WANT to go back in time.

Have you ever seen the movie The Butterfly Effect? If not, I'll tell you this--- a guy learns that he CAN travel through time, so he goes back over and over again to "correct" mistakes he made in the past. Every time he tries that, he comes back to the present with a more fucked-up situation than the one he went to correct. He didn't "fix" anything. He just made it worse by meddling.

Now, if I could just go back and live as a frontiersman in the 19th century, I'd go for that. But I'm not interested in changing the past.

See? I'll answer interview questions.

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