November 14, 2008
Originally PUBLISHED October 21, 2004
*Rattlesnake. Didn't like it. Too bony and it tasted like rotten fish.
*Armadillo. That wasn't bad. Tasted a lot like pork.
*Possum. I was drunk when I did that. I don't remember what it tasted like, but I ate it.
*Racoon. If you see one of those critters barbecued, it resembles a giant rat. I had to close my eyes before I could eat that shit, but I did. It really wasn't bad, especially with all the seasoning on it. I went back for a second helping.
*Alligator. A gator-tail steak is delicious when cooked properly. It's beautiful white meat that tastes like a strange combination of fish and chicken. I highly recommend that you try it if you ever get the chance.
*Duck. I agree with Catfish. Too dark and too greasy for my taste. I like shooting them better than eating them.
*Quail. That's a damn good-tasting bird, but there ain't much to 'em. I've never eaten anything other than the breast-meat, and even that is about the size of your two thumbs pressed together, even for a good-sized quail. Cleaning those fuckers is more work than it's worth.
*Squirrel. In a pot of dumplings, that tree-rat tastes pretty good. My grandfather liked the brains with his scrambled eggs. I never got a chance to try that delicacy because he always hogged them all. But I REALLY like shooting those things.
*Turtle. Fried, it sucks. But in a stew or soup, it is delicious.
*Goat. Tastes like beef. Those may be nasty-assed, horny critters, but they taste good. I just don't know if I could kill and butcher one today. I became too attached to my goats on the mini-farm. They had personalities.
*Rabbit. Tastes a lot like squirrel. Rabbit is better with dumplings or in a stew than it is straight-up, although I'll eat it either way.
*Frog. Frog legs are delicious. I LOVE 'em. Tastes like chicken, only the meat is more tender.
*Snails. Yeah, I know it's a French thing, but those rascals taste just like a beef steak. I can eat 'em 'till I pop when they are served with butter and garlic.
*Shark. If you cut out a good steak away from the asshole, a shark's tail makes excellent fodder for the grill. That's a nice chunk of fish meat, but I recommend marinating it overnight before you cook it. Fresh shark sometimes tastes gamey.
*Conch. Put it in a chowder or soup, and cut it up into small pieces. Trying to eat a chunk of conch meat is like chewing on a rubber ball. The more you chew, the bigger it gets. It's good, but you've got to tenderize it before you can eat it.
It's almost time for lunch. I wish you a hearty appetite.
All content © Rob Smith