Gut Rumbles

September 20, 2008

on a dare

Originally PUBLISHED March 22, 2005

Here is a genuine pussy-blog, just for a FEW perverted PEOPLE who DARED ME to do it.

All right, assholes--- you think I WON'T???

I have always been fascinated by a woman's pudenta. I've seen pussy in all shapes and sizes and they all ARE different--- some for the better and some for the worse. I never saw a damn one that I couldn't tolerate, but some are more beautiful than others.

Pop open a raw oyster and look at it sideways. Tell me that it don't look just like a pussy. Liar! IT DOES, with the same kind of lips on it as a labia. I eat raw oysters and I eat pussy, too. I am very good at both jobs because I enjoy my work.

I don't like a hairy thatch on a woman. Back in the days when I first started casting my net far and wide, very few wimmen shaved their privates. I've seen some bushes where a goddam lion could hide. I've seen wimmen with more body hair than I had. I didn't really like that crap.

But then they went in the opposite direction, and started shaving their pussies bald. I don't like that, either. When I am confronted with a bald-headed pussy, I feel like a goddam child-molester mounting that woman. Oh, I'll DO IT, of course, but that's not really sexy to me. I much prefer the Mohawk or the well-trimmed Van Dyke around the honey-hole.

I think a woman should smell like a woman. I like the rich, fecund and NATURAL smell of a woman's well-maintained snatch. I don't want it to smell like flowers of The Great Outdoors. Of course, I don't want it to smell like three-day-old tuna either. You can hit a happy medium there.

As far as appearances go, a nice pink set of lips is a real turn-on to me. One that doesn't lay there gapped open when you look at it. One that looks PRETTY and feminine, not like some ragged retread tire that an 18-wheeler threw off on the Interstate. One that doesn't look like a team of pile-drivers have been augering the BIG STUFF in there. One that doesn't resemble a vertical taco with the meat and cheese missing out of it.

I don't like the big, flexible hangy-down lips, either. I've seen a few of those and I always think that it is the result of trying to insert a box of rubber bands up there, and a few didn't stay in. Combine a hairy thatch with the hangy-down lips and an empty vertical taco and you've got an ugly pussy.

That's MY humble opinion on this matter.

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