Gut Rumbles

July 31, 2008


Originally published July 17, 2005

My face is as red as a beet and my hair now has blonde streaks in it to accent the gray silver that I've been sporting for years. I allowed an attractive woman to spray me down with some kind of 100% organic, naturally-grown, sweet-smelling, henna-free hair lightener while I was shitfaced having a good time on my last day in Key West.

Let me assure you... that shit WORKS as soon as you spend some time in the sun. Let me ALSO assure you that the Key West sun is a merciless sumbitch that will cook you like a lobster if you're foolish enough to stay out in it the way I did.

I want my missing underwear back. I would wear it over my head today.

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