Gut Rumbles

July 01, 2008

excuse me!

Originally PUBLISHED June 6, 2006

Dayum! We've got some really blue-nosed tomato-nannies in this world today. Yesterday, I posted a picture of some 'maters that I picked from my garden, and I had the unmitigated gall to write that I intended to put them in the refrigerator to give them a nice chill before I ate them.

I might as well have said that I was gonna barbecue a neighbor's pet cat, too. Read the comments on that post and TRUST ME about the haughty, up-yours emails I received over that post. The bottom line is: I need to be dragged off and shot for even thinking about putting my tomatoes in the refrigerator. That's some kind of terrible, blasphemous thing to do to a tomato.

Well, folks, it's too late now. I never intended to KEEP the tomatoes in the refrigerator. I just wanted them chilled before I ATE THEM--- which I did last night--- with just a little salt on them. They were delicious, too. MUCH better than they would have tasted at room temperature.

If I offended you by chilling my tomatoes--- MINE, not YOURS!!!--- before I ate them, or if I rubbed your back-fur the wrong way by saying that I was gonna do it, well, I ain't apologizing to ya. Treat YOUR tomatoes any way you want to. Just don't hector me about how I should treat mine.

Good grief! People... why can't we all just get along?

If you ever wonder where anti-smoking Nazis, fat police and drug warriors come from, just tell folks that you're gonna put some home-grown, fresh tomatoes in your refrigerator. You'll find out. Do-gooders come swarming out of the dark to club you with aluminium baseball bats and string your intestines like ribbons from nearby trees.

Just for your own good, of course.

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