Gut Rumbles

May 20, 2008


Originally PUBLISHED October 20, 2004

I became very excited today when I was attacked by the vengeful mockingbirds. I really thought those fuckers were setting me up to go for my eyes. I wasn't certain that I could escape. The old adrenalin pump kicked into high gear.

Even in that height of madness, I remember thinking--- "What if you can't get away? You can't call 911 and tell the Effingham County EMS that a bunch of BIRDS beat your ass and put your eyes out. They'll laugh their asses off at you. So will the birds."

By the hair of my teeth, I made it safely back inside and the mockingbirds seem to have simmered down now. I stuck my head out the back door a few minutes ago and I wasn't attacked immediately, so maybe I'm being forgiven.

But I gotta say one thing. Becoming very excited surely does make you feel alive for a few glorious moments, doesn't it? You feel a tingle in your body and all kinds of primitive instincts come bubbling up from the primordial swamp to give you the "fight or flight" impulse your simian ancestors had. You can FEEL it, and it feels GOOD.

Now I know for sure why people toss themselves out of perfectly good airplanes, ride roller-coasters, bunji-jump, haul-ass on motorcycles and like horror movies. Civilized life is pretty boring most of the time. I believe that human beings crave thrills, if they have any imagination at all. I know that I do.

And I had a good one this morning.

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