Gut Rumbles

May 16, 2008

i was a telemarketer

Originally PUBLISHED September 27, 2004

Yes. I confess. I took that horrendous job once upon a time.

I was in between guitar gigs and I was broke. I needed some money, so I figured that the best way to do that was to get a job. I saw a want-ad in the newspaper for a "telephone salesman---$350 a week guaranteed!!!" I applied for the job and they hired me on the spot.

I received about 30 minutes worth of training, almost all of which involved me reading three different speeches from a printed page. Page one was the pitch for advertising in a local newspaper. Page two was something about cemetary plots and I don't remember what page three was. I knew before I finished reading that shit that I didn't want that job.

But I gave it a try. I sat in a small cubicle and called phone numbers from a fat list the company had. I read the spiel from the printed paper I had and felt like a fucking whore the entire time. I lasted six hours and I quit.

I never sold anything and those bastards never paid me a dime. I felt dirty when I walked out of there, but I was happy to be gone.

I got a guitar gig at Charlie's Sports Lounge on Tybee that very evening. It was good for a month, so I was back in the saddle again. I never went back to telemarketing.

I preferred honest work. In a bar.

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