Gut Rumbles

May 14, 2008

red-headed irish wimmen

Originally Published July 21, 2005

In my younger days, I found blondes very attractive. But after I bedded a few, I learned a few facts about most "blondes."
#1) Most of them are dingy.

#2) They aren't that special in bed.

#3) Most of them have something in common with a 747 jetliner--- they have a black box.

As I grew older, I fell into the clutches of a few red-headed Irish wimmen. They changed my mind about blondes. Lemme tell you about THOSE lovely ladies:

#1) They have very fair skin, almost translucent in the right light. Usually, they have a lot of freckles, too, which THEY find embarassing but I always found sexy.

#2) They are slow to warm, but if you ever get the heater just right, they are complete wildcats in bed.

#2-A) They burn easily in the sun, so why in the hell would you want to take a red-headed Irish woman to the BEACH? Take her to the mountains and rent a place with a good, sturdy bed.

#3) They all have hollow legs. They can drink like fishes and still walk when you're lying under the table in a puddle of your own puke. Be forewarned about that trait. But they are so kind that they will drag you out to your car, pour you in, drive you home and put you to bed. And she's not angry at you in the morning, either.
About the only thing bad I can say about ANY of those wimmen is that they all had big feet.
I had my chance to keep a good 'un, but I fucked that up. That's one of the biggest regrets of my life. If I had that part of my life to live over again...
Well, I don't, so that's that. But sometimes it pains me to think about it.
I left that red-headed Irish woman for Jennifer.

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