Gut Rumbles

April 29, 2008

Be warned

Originally published August 23, 2003

I consider all emails I receive to be blog-fodder unless you specify that I DO NOT use them. I honor such requests, as a few people already know.

But if you send me a good 'un, and DON'T tell me not to, I'm going to throw it on the blog. I'm about to do so right now. The email I'm quoting is long and explicit, written by someone who knows what he's talking about. As someone who works for a company engaged in the oil and gas business, I can vouch for his veracity. I'm stealing only one part of a great letter.

I got into it shortly after 911 with some of my dearest dumbfuck environmentalist friends over drilling in ANWR.

Guess fuckin what, Gomer. I know all about drillin for oil, too.

Long ago (100 years or so), our ancestors would set up a primitive cable-tool rig somewhere in East Texas or Oklahoma, and by successively dropping a piece of iron attached to wire rope from above(like a piledriver), would eventually manage to drill a more-or-less vertically straight hole into some oil bearing formation near the surface of the land. Rotary drilling, or core drilling, involving rotating a piece of pipe with abrasive edges, was used for shallow holes and water wells. It's still used. Then some guy named Hughes cames up with dual cone and tricone rotary drill bits which would withstand tremendous pressures while pumping viscous fluids through them to remove the cuttings, and the modern oil industry was born (this, incidentally, is where the meganutcase Howard Hughes got his money).

In the early days, rotary drilling was used to drill vertical holes quickly in soft formations. If you could take an aerial reconnaissance of old oil wells in the Denver Julesburg Basin (or virtually any other basin drilled from 1900 through 1950), you would see a series of vertical wells drilled "on grid". The pumpjacks are all in straight lines, side by side, over hill and dale, for miles on end. This is the picture of oil production that the simple minded dumbfuck environmentalists cling to today.

Except that the technology has changed dramatically. Only an oil exploration and production executive is fucking stupid enough not to publisize the changes (with all due respect to my dear friends in the industry). Not that any dickfaced moron environmentalist is at all willing to listen (let alone understand).
Here's what happens, now, all you azzoles, so listen up.

A drilling company gets hired by a big oil company to put holes in the ground in some sort of godawfull location somewhere in bumfuck nowhere (where there are no dumbfuck enviros, and where the bureaucracies are designed to collect illicit cash, not elitist eastern U.S. politicians, but that's another story entirely). Holes are big and expensive, particularly in deep water, but also on land.

Now, they drill wells out in every direction from the same initial well. In the old days, they'd deviate a well with a contraption called a whipstock. Now they do it with downhole gyroscopes and advanced instrumentation. No more wells "on grid", mile after mile, side by each.

They set up in one location, the drill out everything in a six, or eight, or ten mile radius, at multiple depths.

It's damn near perfect. They comply with every environmental law. (No matter how silly or foolish).

And guess fuckin what, there are three or four hundred large surface mammals standing outside of every widely spaced production rig waiting for bored roughnecks to feed them.

That's more than all of the Massachusetts Liberals have ever done for all of the Artic mammals, ever, so they (the Libs) can go off somewhere and fuck themselves(literally).

-- Charles Gill

People, don't listen to environmentalists. They are Druid priests and witch doctors. They will LIE to you. The same technology Charles talks about was used to run a new Industrial Water Main down President Street in Savannah. The drilling company set up a rig at the west end of the road and "snaked" a 24" pipe for six miles, underground along the highway, without disrupting traffic or killing a single animal.

That's how we drill oil today. Too many ignorant dumbfucks don't know that. Out of 19 million acres, we need a space about the size of a Wal-Mart parking lot to drill the entire ANWR. The reason we don't laugh out loud at the idea of NOT drilling the ANWR is because a lot of ignorant dumbfucks are senators and congressmen deeply beholden to nutball environmentalists. And other ignorant dumbfucks listen to THEM.

Dragonfly Jenny listens to too much of that horseshit without knowing the facts.

I suggest that everyone go here and learn something.

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