Gut Rumbles

March 26, 2008

A matter of perspective

Originally published July 27, 2003

I have been known to "hit" on wimmen that I find attractive. I'll introduce myself, try to gin up a conversation, buy them a drink and flirt. The chance of getting laid never crosses my mind.

I just want some company.

Sugarmama says:

*** I think (perhaps erroneously, but I don't care) that the kind of guy who tries to pick up women isn't my kind of guy. I've never been into the "suave", "wheeling and dealing", cell-phone talking, convertible driving, smooth talker who doesn't have a problem picking up women. I can't participate in some sort of impromptu rendezvous at the beach, with a guy who threw out a cheesy ice breaker while I was completely absorbed with writing a letter. Ugh. Cheese. There is no way to "pick Sugarmama up". No ploy, no attempt, no matter how clever, is going to work. The only pick-up that works is "getting to know one another through less contrived circumstances". Nothing against the guy... but I can't recall the last time I was "in the mood to be picked up". Maybe next year. ;-)

I don't go to church. I don't sign up for on-line dating services. My friends don't attempt to set me up with a lonely-heart the wife knows. I don't hang out in bars. I ain't exactly tom-catting in my singleness.

But when I see an attractive woman on the beach, on the street or at one of those company functions I get sent to regularly, I see nothing wrong with asking her out to dinner. She is free to say "no," and I won't get my feelings hurt. She also is free to say "yes" and expect nothing more than a nice dinner with a man who is not a half-bad conversationalist. It beats dining alone.

I've been impotent for the last 21 months. I didn't ask wimmen to have dinner with me because I wanted into their pants. What was I going to do if I got there? I simply wanted to have dinner with them. I didn't want to dine alone. Some men actually DO THAT, with no strings attached. Some wimmen actually like men who do that, too.

Sugarmama, every man you meet is NOT out to get into your pants. (MOST OF THEM ARE... I've got to admit to being a member of the brotherhood of SWINE. But there are exceptions which prove the rule.) You would be too young for me to hit on, but there may come a time when you're in a strange place by yourself and a polite gentleman introduces himself and invites you to have dinner with him.

Don't automatically say "NO" in a knee-jerk reaction. Maybe all he wants is to buy you dinner and have some female companionship for a good meal. That really DOES happen. When the meal is over, he picks up the check, kisses you on the cheek and thanks you for the pleasure of your company. He'll walk you back to your room after that, make it easy to say goodnight, and you may never see him again. But you'll always remember a dinner that was better than one eaten alone.

That's what I've done for almost two years now. My bionic dick won't change a damn bit of it except the walk back to the room.

If she invites me in for coffee, I'll go next time instead of making some mealy-mouthed excuse about an early meeting I simply MUST attend because I don't want to tell her about my impotence. I hope I meet one who thinks highly enough of me to want to screw my brains out. That would be nice.

But that will be HER call. Otherwise, we'll just enjoy a nice meal.

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