Gut Rumbles

March 17, 2008

I don't understand

Originally published April 23, 2003

Here are 10 Things I Really Don't Understand

1. Child pornography. A am a kinky and sexually adventurous man, but I have NEVER found children to be anything but kids to me. Who can possibly become sexually aroused at the prospect of diddling with a CHILD? I don't get it.

2. Rap music. That shit just plain sucks, and that's all there is to it. That ain't music. It ain't even good noise.

3. Baggy pants worn with the waistband below your nutsack and your underwear hanging out the top. If I ever see my son dressed that way, I will snatch him bald-headed and shoot his mama. That fashion statement is PROOF that rap music kills brain cells.

4. Vegetarians. There is not another animal on the face of the planet that has canine teeth and does not eat meat. Why do vegans deny what Mother Nature meant for them to be and somehow feel BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES for being unnatural idiots? Notice to vegans: Give me a steak and stick that tofu up your ass.

5. "Peace Protesters" who throw things at people, riot in the street and set places on fire. How do you protest for PEACE by acting like a war-like savage?

6. The free pass Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have always gotten from the press and leftists no matter how many times they fuck up and get caught. The bastards are both crooked as snakes and somebody ought to stand up and say so. Black "leaders," my ass.

7. Soccer. Bejus! That game is more boring than watching grass grow. If women played it nekkid, I might gain some interest, but even then it would be difficult. Soccer sucks.

8. Obvilious drivers who stay puttering along in the left lane of an Interstate Highway while people are passing them on the right. I'll see a bunch of those tomorrow on my way to North Carolina. I should have the right to shoot them and collect a reward.

9. People who advocate gun control laws. It has NEVER reduced crime, it never will and it has failed everywhere it's ever been tried. Goddam. How many times do you have to be wrong before you admit it?

10. Someone who would vote for Hillary Clinton in ANY kind of an election. That woman is worse than her husband and he's a bucket of slime. Congratulations, New York.

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