Gut Rumbles

February 29, 2008

I need a break

Originally published July 12, 2003

I fed the boys shrimp eggrolls and instant rice for lunch today. It wasn't half-bad. They had the been-inside-too-long crawlies, so I tossed them out into the front yard and told them to go play. They wanted ME to quarterback a football game for them.

Pardon the pun, but I PASSED on that offer. If I tried to throw a football right now, I fear that my overburdened nutsack would hit the ground and never reel back up again. I would have to live the rest of my life dragging that thing behind me everywhere I went, picking up ant-bites and sand-spurs along the way. No, thank you.

I want to take a wookie pill and relax on the couch for a while.

If they are back inside within five minutes, I'm going to kill all three of them.

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