Gut Rumbles

January 12, 2008


Originally published December 6, 2003

Oddball slept with Quinton and Jack last night. They are convinced that she is a wonderful dog. They aren't aware of that mutt's feral capabilities yet.

I asked those two rapscallions what they wanted for breakfast this morning. I had sugar-coated chocolate cereal, Jimmy Dean sausage-and-egg-biscuits and frozen waffles. "Bacon and eggs!" they yelled.

I explained that the cereal, biscuits and waffles were quick and easy, but bacon and eggs would make Mr. Rob have to work in the kitchen. They looked at each other after my impassioned speech and said, in unison, "bacon and eggs!"

I fixed the little rats bacon and eggs this morning. They sucked that meal up like Hoover vacuum cleaners and drank half a quart of milk along with it. Now they are outside playing basketball.

I have the only basketball goal in my entire neighborhood. Being from Kentucky, I find that fact very strange. Basketball goals were nailed on every tree, every garage and every place a person could put one in Harlan County when I grew up. If you owned a basketball, you didn't have to go far to find a place to shoot.

If someone else heard the noise of a basketball hitting the backboard, kids gathered like flies on honey and you had a full-fledged game going before you knew what happened. That same thing occurs at my house today.

Basketball is a great game. Quinton is playing point guard on his team this year and I'm working to make him the best free-throw shooter they've got. Free-throws are "gimme" points and I'm teaching him to drive to the hoop and draw a foul, too. He's proud because he's leaning to dribble between his legs, but I told him to cut that shit out and learn to pass. He is NOT in the NBA.

Practice dribbling without looking at the ball. Practice with both hands. Learn to make a lay-up an easy score from either side of the basket. Shoot 100 free-throws every day. Learn to bring the ball down the court while looking for the open man. Make a pass without telegraphing the move. Take a long shot when you're open, but don't be a shot-hog. Don't bounce-pass into a zone defense.

Damn! I like coaching my boy in sports.

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