November 24, 2007

Sound effects

Originally published July 28, 2004

Last night, I was woken from my sleep by the sound of a banshee screaming. I sat up in bed because I thought somebody was dying and maybe I should rush to the rescue. I listened a little longer and decided rescue was not neccessary. I WAS HEARING THE SOUNDS OF AN ENTHUIASTIC WOMAN HAVING A GOOD TIME!!!!

"Oh God, oh God, oh GOD!!! Yes...yes...yes...oh NO, ohmygod No! Yes! Oh God! AIEEEEEE!!!!! Oh, God! Oh, God! Yes...oh, no...yesssss AIEEEEE!!!!

That sound was accompanied by the thumping of the bed against the wall in the room next to mine. That went on for almost an hour before I heard the guy finally groan "Oh, my GOD!" himself. Then things became quiet.

I opened my door and started clapping my hands in the hallway to applaud a job well done. The next thing I know, people are clapping all over the hotel. We pretty much gave the couple a standing ovation for some incredible sound effects during sex.

I wonder if they heard me and Maria the other night. She was very enthuiastic and quite the screamer herself. But we did not get a standing ovation from the hotel residents.

I am disappointed.