Gut Rumbles

October 13, 2007

Moody Monday

Originally published October 13, 2003

I've been in a pissy mood all day. Yeah, I know... I get in pissy moods a lot, but today was special. I just kept running into asswipes, barking moonbats, whining wussies, lazy bastards, brain-dead scrotum-wits, galloping cretins, walking canker sores, pucker-butted fucktards, idiots on a stick and plain old dumbasses all day long. Goddam! With so many defective units among us, I wonder how the human race stays at the top of the food chain.

My day began with a whimper from that senile old fart andy Rooney, with the bushy eyebrows and the empty brain-pan. I have a 13" TV on my nightstand and CBS is the only channel it will receive. Therefore, I get a liberal dose of liberal news every morning to start my day. Mondays are always the worst day of the week because they replay Rooney's "60 Minutes" drooling from the night before.

You might not think so from listening to me, but I like to be liked. Not only that, I like my country to be liked around the world and it isn't.

Andy, I DON'T LIKE YOU!!! And I don't give a shit what the rest of the world thinks about my country. I damn sure ain't for kissing France's ass to make people "like" us. Fuck that.

I wish President Bush would try to make this country less hated. He could do it if he set his mind to it.

To begin with, we should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own - for our own sake. Iraq isn't our problem. It's the world's problem.

I TOLD you that the bastard was senile. Let's see if I understand his message. Our President should grovel a little bit in order to be "liked." We should give the corrupt, assinine, nutless fools at the UN hegemony over OUR COUNRTY to become "less hated." Andy, go pound sand. And wipe that slobber off your chin.

When the president spoke at the United Nations, he came off as arrogant and it made all of us seem arrogant. We are a little arrogant, of course, and we ought to watch that.

Yes, as the world's only superpower, we need to work hard at kissing unwashed asses to get along with the rest of the world. Clinton did a fine job of that. We still got 9/11, thanks largely to the fact that Clinton had a throbbing erection, but no balls. Andy, you puff-muffin, you're older than dirt and you still don't get it. In the political arena, I would much rather be feared and hated than treated like a beloved butt-boy. I would much rather be feared and hated than loved by people who want to fuck me blind. In a dog-eat-dog world, I want to be Tall Dog. The rest of the world may hate me and envy me, but that doesn't change the fact that they'll be looking up MY ASSHOLE when the sled goes down the trail, not the other way around.

And if you think the United States of America should content itself with staring at UN assholes while some gelded bastard from Bumfuck, Neverheardofstan claims the lead spot in the traces, you need to be dragged off and shot. Goddam, man! Where did your brain go when you got old?

It doesn't matter what I think, but I think like millions of Americans and they do matter. I was opposed to going into Iraq without the approval of the U.N. Things went well at first and I decided I was wrong and apologized.

Now I want to apologize again. I want to apologize for apologizing. We should not have attacked Iraq without the OK of the United Nations. It wasn't all President Bush's fault. U.N. delegates were infuriating - sitting on their hands.

It's an ineffective, namby-pamby organization. The French and the Germans were against attacking Iraq because they do a lot of business there.

Andy, you are right. It doesn't matter what you think. You are an idiot. LOOK AT WHAT YOU JUST SAID! The UN is a namby-pamby organization of gutless wonders and the French and Germans were doing a lot of business with IRAQ in VIOLATION OF UN SANCTIONS. Yet, THESE are the people we need on our side.

Andy, go to sleep. If you live much longer and keep blathering like this, you're going to shit all over your reputation the way Walter Cronkite is doing now. It won't bother ME, but it should bother you and Grandpa Walt.

That's the first Fisking I've done in a while. It felt damn good.

I TOLD you that I had a pissy Monday.

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