Gut Rumbles

September 25, 2007

My trip

Originally published April 21, 2004

I was supposed to leave tomorrow on a nice trip to sunny beaches and a land of bikini-clad, red-toenailed wimmen. I called yesterday and rescheduled my arrangements. I remain too sick to travel right now.

Besides, I worry about a flare-up of what put me in the hospital. I don't want to get too far away from American medical care. The LAST thing I want is to be feverish, in pain and lying on a filthy cot while some local "doctor" waves chicken feathers over my head and does a voodoo dance to rid my body of evil spirits. I'll take the demerol and the antibiotics every time.

I went to the Huddle House for breakfast this morning and couldn't finish a plate of two scrambled eggs, grits and toast. I managed to choke some of the food down, but it was an effort. I ate about half of it. The doctors told me to eat five small meals every day until I get my strength back. I defrosted two bags of boiled peanuts last night. I can make five small meals off of that stash.

They did a number on my arms in the hospital. I have big, dark bruises and needle-marks from both elbows down to my hands. I look like Fido's ass. I FEEL like Fido's ass, too, but it's not as bad as it was. I really AM on the road to recovery.

I haven't worn a watch since the day I left work for the last time, but I put one on this morning. The damn thing dangled from my wrist like a high school charm bracelet. I shook my arm once and the watch slithered off my wrist and hit the floor. I left it there. I don't need a got-damn watch anymore. I need to gain back the 20 pounds I lost in the past month. I am a walking skeleton and I get winded just gimping to my mailbox and back. I am not accustomed to being sick.

The ulcers and the pancreatitus were caused by a combination of stress, too much to drink and not enough to eat. The doctor's still don't know what's causing the numbness in my hands and feet, but they suspect some sort of weird viral infection. If I'm not better in a week, they want me to go see a specialist. Thank Bejus I kept my health insurance from work.

Okay, that's enough of sitting on my pity-pot. I'm going to look around for something in the news to piss me off now.

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