Gut Rumbles

June 25, 2007

Fruit flies

Originally published June 5, 2006

Somebody gave me a Christmas present a couple of years ago that came in an Indian River Fruit Company cardboard box. I don't remember what the present was, but I kept the box because it's a heavy-duty, double-thick, built-to-last container, perfect for storing potatoes, onions, grapefruit, oranges and other such edibles that don't require refrigeration.

Just don't leave 'em in the box too long.

Two days ago, I started noticing fruit flies buzzing around in various rooms of my house. The little bastards don't bite, but they are annoying as hell. I killed a bunch of them, but I kept finding more of 'em every day.

I checked my kitchen garbage can. Nope. No fruit flies there. The kitchen sink had a few dirty dishes in it, but no fruit flies. I wondered where the pestiferous bastids were coming from, and I thought about the box of fruit in the corner.

I grabbed a can of Raid, walked over to the storage box and gave it a swift kick. Fruit flies came boiling out of there. I gassed them with Raid, then searched for their home base.

It wasn't the potatoes or the Vidalea onions. It wasn't the grapefruit or the oranges. It was a got-dam PINEAPPLE I bought at Kroger's a couple of weeks ago when they had a Two-For-One sale in the produce department. I ate one of the pineapples and totally forgot about the other one.

Bejus! That pineapple became slightly... uh... over-ripe and gave birth to a bumper crop of fruit flies. I stuffed the squishy pineapple into a plastic bag, which stirred up ANOTHER swarm of fruit flies, so I gassed them, then I took the rotten over-ripe pineapple outside and threw it in my garbage can.

I still have a few stray bugs flying around the Crackerbox, but I got rid of most of 'em. I'll pick off the rest one by one.

Think about THIS the next time you eat "fresh" fruit from a grocery store:

The reproductive potential of fruit flies is enormous; given the opportunity, they will lay about 500 eggs. The entire lifecycle from egg to adult can be completed in about a week.

You've probably eaten the larvae without noticing them. And if you store fruits and vegetables in a cardboard box in your kitchen, you're asking for trouble.

Trust me on that one.


It only takes one episode with fruit flies to teach you to stick those fruits in the refrigerator. Do you have a day job? Why did you decide to create this blog?

Posted by: Beachreader on June 25, 2007 12:36 PM

Sad to say Acidman passed away last year. He was one of the best. If you read his archives (and everything posted here now is archival) He explains that he started after his wife left him and took their son. He had a job when he started, but lost it due to this site.

Remember, time flies like an arrow... Fruit flies like a banana.

Posted by: K-nine on June 25, 2007 02:24 PM

Actually, we are on the eve of the day we were told Rob was gone.

God Bless ya Rob!

Man I miss you!

More than words can say.

Posted by: Gina on June 25, 2007 11:45 PM

God, K-nine... thanks for the grin you just raised through the tears...

I thought I was the only one who'd ever heard that "fruit flies like a banana" thing, ,judging by the looks I get when I say it.

Biff Rose fan too, are ya?
(That, among other things, was on the back of one of his earliest albums...)

Posted by: Stevie on June 26, 2007 06:18 AM

Thanks Stevie. Actually the first place I heard that was on a live Townes Van Zandt album, no idea which one. You have done a wonderful job here. Thank you so much.

Posted by: K-Nine on June 26, 2007 02:55 PM
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