Gut Rumbles

June 14, 2007


Originally published December 18, 2004

*I started to light into a couple of commenters on the post below, because they obviously are complete morons and missed the point of the entire post, but I just don't have that kind of fire in my belly today. Besides, I'd just be wasting my time. Assholes will always be assholes.

*My grandparents had the first flush toilet I ever saw when we lived in the coal mining camp at Louellen. I really wanted one of those in MY home. But my Papaw never stopped using the outhouse. He would leave that warm hearth, that flush toilet and slog through a foot of snow to perch his ass on a splintery, wooden bench and enjoy his morning constitutional the same way he'd been doing all his life. At the time, I thought he was crazy. I don't anymore, because I now know why he did it. I'm a lot that way myself today.

*I visited my son this morning. Damn, but he's growing fast. He told me that he could beat me in both football AND basketball now, because he was "meaner, smarter, tougher and YOUNGER" than I was. (I don't know if I've blogged about it before, but all of Quinton's life, I've told him that he couldn't beat ME because I was "meaner, smarter, tougher and OLDER" than he was.) I hammered his ass in a game of horse. Heh. Guile and experience beat youth and enthusiasm again. I did NOT agree to a rematch.

*I received a phone call today from someone I didn't know. She said that she found my phone number and called because I live next door to someone she was concerned about. "I've called for two days, and all I get is a rapid busy signal. Could you check to make sure she's okay and then call me back?" I said I would, and took down her number, which I was surprised to discover was toll-free, with an extension.

Nobody was home next door, but everything looked okay. The mailbox was empty, I didn't see bloodstains anywhere, nor did I smell anything to suggest a pile of rotting dead bodies inside. I went back home and called the number I had. IT WAS A COLLECTION AGENCY!!! I told them, "I think she moved," and hung up the phone. How the hell did they get MY phone number?

*One thing I like about the back-roads of north Georgia (even riding around lost) is the number of old barns, outbuildings and abandoned houses on those rolling farms there. I look at the weather-bleached, seasoned wood, the peeling planks, the holes in the roof and the stunted chinabeery trees and tall weeds that surround them now and I wonder about the stories those places could tell. Those building would make some great black-and-white photographs.

*Why am I deathly afraid of snakes when I like spiders and fascinating insects?

*Today I found a picture of me shaking hands with Arnold Palmer at the practice round of the 1992 Masters Golf Tournament. I forgot that I had it. Damn! I STILL love Arnie!

As you can see, I can't think of much to blog about today...

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