Gut Rumbles

May 18, 2007

Some comments on comments

Originally published September 27, 2005

I enjoy reading my comments. Some of you folks are better writers than I am. Of course, some of you suck the hairy bag, too, but that's okay. We live in an allegedly free country and I want to keep it that way.

* SONGWRITERS: I judge a good songwriter on longevity and body of work. Bruce Springstein doesn't qualify by MY standards. Gordon Lightfoot was once one of my favorites, but his work has gone downhill in the last decade or so. Still, he's been writing good songs for a long time.

That's why I say James Taylor, Paul Simon and Stephen Stills are in the Top Ten on ANY list. They've been cranking out good work for 30 fucking years. Don't give me no flash in the pans.

I think Don McLean wrote two of the best songs I ever heard. "American Pie" and "Starry, Starry Night" were BRILLIANT pieces of music. But he went the way of John Hartford. (John wrote "Gentle on My Mind," which was the most recorded song in the world for a few years.) One or two bursts, then out of ammo.

And I will hate Neil Young until the day I die for the song "Southern Man." Fuckfaced Canadian asshole.

* CIRCUMCISION: Somebody got something right. If I'm given a choice between washing my dick and brushing my teeth, I'm gonna wash my dick. I LIKE washing my dick. Maybe that's why I've never had a sexually transmitted disease. I believe in keeping my tool clean.

* HURRICANES: It's not the federal government's job to protect you from bad weather. You should take care of your own ass. When you DON'T, that's your own damn fault.

* STERIODS: WTF is CONGRESS doing holding hearings on steriod use in major league baseball? What the hell is John McCain doing hogging all kinds of camera-time with this pissant issue? Let baseball police itself. Or not. Get the feds out of this shit. They really ought to have better things to do.

* CINDY SHEEHAN. If anyone ever deserved to be dragged off and shot, it's her. The woman is about as bright as a fifteen-watt bulb and if you see a gleam in her eye, it's the "low battery" light flashing. She is a disgrace to her son, a disgrace to this country and a disgrace to all of our troops. She's also a self-aggrandizing cunt.

* ENVIRONMENTALISM: I might have more sympathy for those nut-balls if they really cared about the environment. But they don't. They are mostly anti-civilization and anti-capitalism. Plus, most of the shriekers are totally ignorant and pumped full of junk science. They INVENT the "Scare of the Week" to terrify soccer moms into hyperventilation and the vapors. That bullshit works, too.

Congress listens to them, which tells you how intelligent congress is. Al Gore believed it so much that he turned orange in his first Presidential debate. (I think he was looking for green, but his advisors told him that THAT color would make him look too much like a space alien. They didn't tell him not to ACT like a space alien--- because he did--- they just vetoed the green color.)

* DIVERSITY: I'm tired of hyphenated-Americans and divisions based on race, creed, ethnicity or religion. I say we divide people (because if we don't, they'll do it by themselves) along different lines. Forget about skin color or religion. Let's class people as "STUPID," "NOT STUPID," "FAIRLY INTELLIGENT," "SMART," and "DOWNRIGHT BRILLIANT." I believe that we'd end up with a reasonable bell-shaped curve that way, and nobody could cry "racism" or "sexism" about it.

Naw. Wouldn't work. The stupid people would cry RACISM and SEXISM anyway. That's because they're stupid.

See where my mind goes late at night when I can't sleep?

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