Gut Rumbles

January 31, 2007

Things I thought about

Originally published September 1, 2003

One of the books I read on the island was George Carlin's Napalm and Silly Putty. That guy should start a blog.

I had one terrible nightmare about some kind of government agency coming to take Quinton away from me because I wasn't feeding him correctly. I woke up in a cold sweat with both of my fists balled, ready to fight. I blame some of my trolls for that dream.

I watched Terminator III when I took a break from the sun around noon on Saturday. I thought the movie was pretty okay. I didn't fall asleep in the middle of it.

I ate some of the best jerked pork I've ever tasted, cooked and served right next to the swimming pool at the hotel. It burned my belly for more than an hour. Just damn! That was good. Nice, spicy black beans and rice came with it, too.

I was sitting by the pool reading a book and some fat little yankee kid did a cannonball right in front of me. He wet up me and my book. I told him, "Hey! Show some manners! Don't splash me again."

He sticks his pissly head out of the water and says, "Oh, yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it?"

Little asshole. Who did he think he was dealing with? I whipped out two water pistols and did my best to put his fucking eyes out. I blinded the rat, then shot him in both ears. "Next time, I'll PISS in the pistols," I told him. "Don't you EVER wet me again, ya brat!" (I cannot stand a smart-mouthed child.) He went to the other end of the pool and never came back. I don't know where the hell his parents were. I never saw them, but I had both water-pistols ready for them. They needed an ass-whipping for raising a disrespectful prick as a son.

After I did that, I heard a woman giggle. "You have children, don't you?" she asked. I told her that I had a son about that boy's age who weighed about 50 pounds less than that BRAT and had one HELL of a lot more manners. She was wearing a purple bathing suit and reading a romance novel. She had red toenails. She was from Wisconsin.

Jerked pork goes really well with Red Stripe beer.

I saw Mars come up from the horizon every night I was on the island. It was really impressive and really red when I watched it rise up from the sea. I also saw it at 4:30 in the morning on the opposite side of the sky. It resembled just another star by then.

I got rained on once. It felt good.

When I was about to take that picture of the sunrise this morning, I saw a woman walking a dog that was uglier than Sugarmama's [Ed. Link borked.]. Not the woman. She wasn't bad looking. But that was one ugly-assed dog.

I thought about going to work tomorrow. I wish that I hadn't done that.


That guy should start a blog.

He did, Darlin'.
Sort of.
Sooo, I fixed that for ya.
Only wish I'd thought to do it sooner.

Posted by: Stevie on January 31, 2007 02:32 PM
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