Gut Rumbles

December 24, 2006

This is sad

Originally published January 29, 2005

Yeah, you can go here and get your shits and giggles by laughing at people less fortunate than you are. You can chortle your ass off the way some people do when they kick the crutches out from under a cripple and watch him fall down on the sidewalk. If you do that, you should be ashamed of yourself. (and you should be, too.)

I've said many times before than an omnipotent God should have a done a better job with men's hair. About the only things he fucked up worse are teeth. But neither one is an impressive engineering feat.

I'll confess: For years, I wore my hair brushed straight back, like a Golden God. My coiff resembled a lion's mane, and I was proud of it. I was Bubba Fabio.

But I started noticing that I developed a part down the middle that I never had before, and that part kept getting wider every day. Sometimes, when I removed my hard hat after some sweaty work, I resembled someone who had been hit down the middle of the head with a hatchet.

I didn't like the way that looked. I got a different haircut and started parting my hair on the side. YES!!! I started a comb-over. But at least I have enough hair remaining to make it appear convincing.

I could NEVER be desperate enough to comb-over three worm-looking hairs from the back of my neck to string them over my bare scalp in an effort to look handsome. I don't go for the coonskin cap look, either.

I'd give up and shave my head first.

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