Gut Rumbles

October 31, 2006

Halloween things

Originally published October 31, 2002


It's almost dark outside, and I hear excited children screaming and squealing in the street. I may require a time-out while I hand out candy to the spooks and goblins soon to reach my door.

Young Jack is a ninja tonight. He already stopped by to model his costume, but the dummy didn't bring his treat bag. Idjit. I would have given him a good start on the night even if it WAS still daylight outside.

Posted by Acidman @ 04:52 PM


I played two of the best football games of my life on Halloween night.

The first was when I was 12 years old, playing for the Savannah Gas little league team. We were in a 7-7 tie with our most hated rival, the Jaycees, as time was ticking away in the fourth quarter. They had the ball. With less than a minute left in the game, I saw a trick play coming. One guy ran from the sidelines to the huddle, but TWO guys left the huddle and ran for the sidelines. They were gonna try "The Sleeper!"

My dad taught me every trick play he ever saw. He never played football, but he was a student of the game, and I knew all about flea-flickers, muddy-huddles, fumblerooskys and sleepers when I was 12. I saw what was coming.

On a sleeper, one of the two guys leaving the huddle and heading for the sidelines doesn't leave the field. He stops one yard short and becomes an incredibly invisible split end all mixed up with everybody else on the sidelines while remaining an eligible receiver. If the play works as designed, the defense doesn't notice him, the quarterback takes the snap and throws a quick-drop pass to that guy all alone on the sidelines, and he waltzes untouched for a score while the defensive backfield is busy pulling their jockstraps up from around their ankles.

I pretended that I didn't notice what was happening, but at the snap I broke for the sleeper as hard as I could run. I intercepted the pass and returned it 60 yards for a touchdown on the final play of the game. We won 13-7. I turned their sleeper into a nightmare.

Five years later, as a senior in high school, I intercepted two passes in one game against Groves High School on Halloween night. I returned one of those interceptions for a touchdown. My score didn't win the game (we beat them 48-0) but I was the only person on the team to score a defensive touchdown that season.

I always think of football on Halloween night.

Posted by Acidman @ 05:11 PM

Slow Night

Only six trick-or-treaters so far.

Of course, I did befuddle a couple of young ballerinas a moment ago when I opened the door, heard the high-pitched "TRICKERTREAT!" and solemnly announced that nobody lived here.

They hung their heads and started to walk away.

I had to shout after them that I was only kidding---come back and get some candy. They did, and said, "Thank you." Mom and Dad were holding flashlights and laughing their asses off out in the street.

I really shouldn't play such head-games with little kids. Yeah, and I shouldn't smoke and drink, either.


Posted by Acidman @ 05:50 PM

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