Gut Rumbles

October 27, 2006

Bore-blogging again

Originally published April 5,2003

* I went to my son's baseball game today. His team lost, but he got a hit. Those steel grandstands hurt my butt when I sit on them. If they were wet, they probably would give me a case of the itchy-ass, too.

* I bought some frozen White Castle cheeseburgers at the grocery store on Thursday. The boys and I ate them tonight. They were pretty good, for frozen cheeseburgers. Nobody is farting yet. I may buy some more of those.

* I washed my kitchen garbage can today. The numb-nutted Chuhuahuahuahuahahaha! next door barked its silly ass off at me the entire time I was outside. I got tired of that shit and walked over and barked back real loud at the dog. It laid down on its back, pissed straight up in the air, and got wet all over itself. Dumbfuck dog.

* Chuhuahuahuahahahahas! can't be smart. Look at their tiny heads. There's no room for a brain in there.

* If I were a dog, I would lay in the road and lick my balls like every other good dog. Of course, if I could lick my OWN balls, I wouldn't have two ex-wives.

* Today, the boys finally got around to opening a "Build Your Own Race Car" kit I bought Quinton for Christmas. They built a big race car and a small race car. Then, they spent more than an hour exploring different ways to make them crash and come apart. Boys do that.

* I'm going to buy a gun on April 15, just to tell Michael Moore to kiss my Cracker ass, and to show my support for that fine African-American, kim du toit in his quest to turn this country into a nation of riflemen, one individual at a time. But I'm not going to buy a rifle. I'm buying a derringer that I already have picked out at Mack's Gun Shop on Highway 80 in Garden City, Georgia. They're running the background check as I write, which Mack still has to do, even though I have purchased seven firearms from him in the past. I'll post a gratuitious gun picture when I get it. Hell, maybe I'll get carried away and buy a rifle, too. In Georgia, when you're cleared for one, you're cleared for anything else you want to buy.

* I lose an hour of my life tonight because of Daylight Savings Time. How do I LOSE an hour and SAVE anything? That's bullshit.

* Okay. Quinton just farted and it smells like the toxic emissions from a paper mill smokestack. He is proud of his stench. I just crossed any more of those frozen cheeseburgers off my shopping list.

* I had something else to say, but I forgot what it was.


You mean you can't lick your own balls? I thought everyone could do that.

Posted by: Mickey Kaye on October 27, 2006 09:30 AM
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