Gut Rumbles

June 21, 2006

pussification in progress

You wanna know what annoys the absolute shit out of me today? It's got-dam CAR ALARMS!!! WTF!!!???

Oh, I understand the idea. Those things were supposed to make you "safer" from car thieves, and every got-dam coward-assed, bleeding pussy in this country probably agreed that it was a WONDERFUL idea, and lawyers lined up in long files to sue car manufacturers who didn't install one. What did we end up with?

A lot of fucking NOISE that NOBODY pays attention to anymore. Bejus! I just heard one going off outside my front door and walked outside, NOT to see if a car-theft was in progress, but to make sure it wasn't MY got-dam car making all that noise.

My neighbor across the street was attempting to make a minor mechanical repair to her car and set off the got-dam alarm, then couldn't figure out how to shut it off. She was slamming doors, turning her lights on and off, cranking the engine and turning it off again, doing all kinds of idiot shit. Still, the alarm kept blasting.

I wobbled my way over there and showed her how to pull the fuse. I also recommended that she throw the got-dam thing away and NEVER replace it.

I think the person who invented car-alarms needs to be dragged off and shot, for being an asshole AND a pussy. You wanna know what works better than ANY car alarm? Get a big, mean-ass dog, preferably one that's black, so nothing but his fangs show up at night, and keep it a little bit hungry. Chain it to a tree where it can get to your car but not out into the street.

See if anybody steals your car then.

Bejus on a bike. Car alarms are just one more example of the complete pussification of America that is taking place today. I blame wimmen and government and lawyers for this shit. Drag them ALL off and shoot them.

THAT would make the world a safer place.


G & I laugh about that all the time (unless it's 3am, then we curse about it). We live in a bit of an "uppity" neighborhood (with his grandmother) and everyone has car alarms and everyone ignores them. They are a complete exercise in futility. I love it when G brings farm equipment home sitting on the back of a big trailer behind a massive old work truck. I think the neighbors just HATE to see it out there on the street. Oh well, that's our answer to their car alarms I guess. HA!

Posted by: Lisa on June 21, 2006 07:50 PM

A neighbor had one in his new car.

The neighborhood kids soon learned that they could gently place an acorn on the hood, and the squirrels would set off the alarm when they jumped down to get the acorn. Meanwhile the kids were snickering behind a bush.

Hey, at least it got them ouside and off of the video games.

He only had the car about three days before he pulled the fuse. :)

Posted by: cbgaloot on June 21, 2006 09:16 PM

There's a difference between a properly installed, good quality alarm, and a wal-mart special some kid duct-taped into his Honda. Properly installed and adjusted alarms rarely, if ever have false alarms. I have the best Clifford alarm money can buy in all of my vehicles, and to date I've had perhaps two false alarms during particularly violent thunder storms.

I really don't care about the noise said alarm makes, and in point of fact the three sirens my alarms have are all installed inside the car, so as to make it a particularly unappealing place to be for a thief. What I care about is the starter and ignition interrupt, and the fact that it pages me when someone tampers with the car, so I can go out and shoot them.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on June 21, 2006 10:13 PM

Shit...My car isn't even worth of the crappy alarm it has. I think I disconected all that stuff when I spend 4 hours (yes 4 hours) replacing my battery. My alarm went off for a solid hour. Thank God I was in the middle of no-where...

And if in all honesty, someone wants, my car, it's parked in front of the house, unlocked, with the key rusted into the ignition. It's yours for the asking.

Posted by: Steph on June 22, 2006 04:31 AM

There's only one thing wrong with car alarms... the proper response to a legitimate alarm is against the law.

I'm talking about having your alarm go off in the middle of the night, getting out of bed and walking to the front door, grabbing the loaded AR sitting in the corner behind the bedroon door on the way, opening the door at low ready, and then opening up on the cretin who made the incredible mistake of trying to steal MY car... and then, shutting the door, safing the rifle, saying "Nothing, honey" when your wife sleepily asks what all the noise was about, and going back to bed. I'll deal with the body in the morning.

Posted by: jgc on June 23, 2006 10:25 AM
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