June 21, 2006
I've had those airport security bastids nit-search ME on five different occasions and they never found anything illegal in my luggage. I didn't like having my shit-stained underwear waved around in public while I stood there like a got-dam criminal, but it could have been worse, I suppose.
I might have been caught with one of these.
THAT might have embarassed me a little. I HAVE been known to play with such toys before, although always in mixed company--- NOT by myself. Just ask my ex-wife. We had a box full of neat stuff, in a locked drawer next to our bed. She liked the motorized ones, and the handcuffs. The nipple-clamps were fun, too.
In fact, we had... never mind. I'm digressing again.
But that's something anti-terrorist experts need to be on the lookout for. A DILDO-BOMB!!!. All greased up and shiny, in a plastic bag.
Yep. You never know what those crazy Islamo-nuts will think of next...
I flew back to Florida from San Francisco yesterday, and saw something at the security checkpoint at SFO that just blew my mind. They had pulled a 12 or 14 year old boy out of line for the special check - the full drill. He just stood there spread-eagled with a bemused smile while they patted him down. This little boy had the face of an angel and the neck of an NFL lineman: a Downs Syndrome child!
And people wonder why Airport Security don't get no respect.
I have friend who works for the TSA at a location that will remain undisclosed for the following anecdote who told me that the other day he found a quarter pound of weed in a bag search. "So what did you do?" I asked. "Wrapped it in security tape and put it back in the bag. We're not customs." he replied.
There are some good guys in security.
Got-dam. Blogdog, that's refreshing to know, because those assholes at airport security emptied an entire bottle (well... about 50 pills) from my V-12 vitamin bottle the last time they Nit-Searched ME.
I didn't like that. Maybe I should bring reefer on the plane instead of vitamins the next time I fly...