Gut Rumbles

June 21, 2006

a good bad word

this guy once said that he had listed, in a notebook with the pages all stuck together, 450 words used to describe female genitalia. Whatta pussy!

I once listened to a highly-respected educator lecture about what makes cussin' feel GOOD. It all has to do with a part of the language called "plosives," which made perfect sense to me at the time and still does today. Think about it.

A plosive starts with a blast of breath, then ends with a sudden shut-off. That's why "SHIT!" is such a good cuss-word. Try saying it right now. See what I mean? Feels GOOD, don't it? Especially when you just hit your finger with a hammer, slammed your hand in a car door or dropped a heavy object on your bare foot. SHIT!!! is all you need to say about stuff like that.

Blast of breath, sudden shut-off. Other words that work almost as well are "bitch" and "crap." But the best cuss word of all remains, far above any other, true to the plosive theory... "FUCK!!!"

Fuck is better than shit on a cuss-word scale. Plus, if you look up "fuck" in an unabridged dictionary, you'll find a WHOLE PAGE of definitions for the word. Think about it.

You can fuck up. You can get fucked. Fuck THAT! Aw, fuck me dead. Or fuck me runnin.' She fucked me over. Yeah, I fucked her. Go fuck yourself.

I could go on and on, but I won't because I'm headed for the doctor's office to see about getting my shoulders fixed. I hope this doc don't fuck me around like that last one did.

That fucker...


Well...good fuckin' luck buddy!

Posted by: Sandy on June 21, 2006 10:58 AM

Doc looks at your shoulders, manipulates them, scans them, then says, "Fuck! These fuckers are fucking fucked!"

Posted by: Desert Cat on June 21, 2006 11:03 AM

What time are you going to the doctor?

Posted by: Catfish on June 21, 2006 11:17 AM

Sandy made me giggle.
Desert Cat made me laugh, then Cat liked to have killed me, chokin' laughter because he DIDN'T say "fuck"....

I don't know about me, sometimes...

Posted by: Stevie on June 21, 2006 11:23 AM

"Fuck me running" is one of my favorites. As a matter of fact I used it at the poker table this last weekend. It's very appropriate and useful, especially in poker.

When you're all in, a huge favorite to win, and your sucker manages to catch the two running cards he has to have to win, it's perfect.

Posted by: DrawingDead on June 21, 2006 12:00 PM

Well, fuck me dead.

Posted by: Catfish on June 21, 2006 12:43 PM

What the fuck?

Posted by: CZ on June 21, 2006 02:04 PM

Fuck is just so versatile; what other word can be a verb, noun, adverb, adjective, all at the same time?

Posted by: Lisa on June 21, 2006 02:54 PM

The double plosive of POOP! makes it a pretty funny one. Not to mention the "ew" sound in the middle. And it's a palindrome!

Posted by: BlogDog on June 21, 2006 05:06 PM

This is a long one, but the Fuck thing makes me think of it.
There is this guy working in a factory who manages to get his arm ripped off by some kind of big steel thing, so... after he got out of the hospital the doctor said... We got a new prostetic arm. It's voice controlled. All you have to do is say what you want it to do and it will do it. So the guy was all in and said "Go for it". After a couple of weeks he got the thing installed and he was all set. He came home and he was checking it out. So, he went to the refrigerator and said "Get me a beer!" ( imagine machine noises) and it got a beer out of the fridge. After having several, nature calls...... Where upon he goes to talk to a man about a horse, and feeling somewhat aroused, says to his hand "Jerk it off", which the hand proceeds to do, then he says "Fuck me". While getting fucked with his severed dick, he says, "Cocksucker!" , and then gets a mouthful.

Posted by: Ron on June 21, 2006 06:45 PM

I might have to go pull out that record tonight...And yes, I still have actualy vinyl, 33and a thirds...AND a record player...


Posted by: Steph on June 22, 2006 04:19 AM
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