Gut Rumbles

June 11, 2006

couldn't happen to a nicer guy

I KNEW it!!! We killed one of the nastiest bastards on the face of the planet, but we didn't do it RIGHT. Our troops "beat" the poor man as he lay dying.

The witness said he saw the man lying on the ground, badly wounded but still alive. He said U.S. troops arriving on the scene wrapped the man's head in an Arab robe and began beating him. His account cannot be independently verified.

Oh? His account cannot be "verified," but you're gonna REPORT IT ANYWAY, because that's like... your job, right? Make US troops appear to be murderous thugs. Spin this story some way to make it seem like anything BUT good news.

Bejus. The troops shoulda beat the livin' shit out of that reporter.


I personally think they should have sawed his head off with a dull machete, then had a game of soccer with it..

Posted by: Ruth on June 11, 2006 10:45 AM

(Al Zarqawi, that is, not the reporter) Although some reporters could use an ass kicking, that goes without saying

Posted by: Ruth on June 11, 2006 10:47 AM

I woulda used boltcutters.

Posted by: Bruce on June 11, 2006 12:54 PM

Funny, my wife told me about this after she'd read it here on your site and I said the same thing you did -- "yeah they HAD to report it..."

Reporters suck.

Posted by: Skerdog on June 11, 2006 01:26 PM

although I do doubt the report I find myself hoping that it is true. At least the sumbitch was alive long enough to know who got him

Posted by: GUYK on June 11, 2006 03:21 PM

I still make the same recommendation i've made to all members of the military since my tour of Vietnam. If you see anyone who looks or acts like a reporter on the battle field, shoot the no good bastard on the spot, And i'm as serious about it as a major heart attack. He's more dangerous and will get you killed faster than any idiot with a gun.

Posted by: Scrapiron on June 11, 2006 06:24 PM

Has it ever occured to these brainless twats that perhaps the reason this individual was the first guy to reach the bombing site was because he was already there?! Out watching Zarqawi's girlfriend/goat or maybe the driver of the car that brought the "spiritual advisor" to meet him?

Posted by: Steve on June 12, 2006 12:19 AM

My first thought when I read the unsubstantiated account of the "beating" was that they (the good guys) were performing CPR, which, to the uninitiated can look a bit violent. Turns out there is yet another unsubstantiated account that seems to bear out that the troopers were, in fact, "trying to revive" Zarqawi. Report THAT, AP.

Posted by: MikeT on June 12, 2006 01:43 PM
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